So...much...happening...

Life has been crazy hectic lately; but not in a bad way. At the beginning of the month I hit NY with my family. Four days in Valley Stream and four days in the city. The prior half was filled with homemade food and grandmotherly guilt trips, and the latter half was filled with an increasingly strong desire to move to NY city.

In the city we saw three plays (though the last can hardly be described as merely a "play"). First was Xanadu. Basic premise: a rollerskating muse from Mt. Olympus intervenes in the life of a man (who is so effeminate that it's amazing the story says he's straight) who wants to open a roller-disco.

The second play was a Tony-award-winning play called August: Osage County. Basic premise: a family so dysfunctional that having having Michael Jackson as a daycare owning dad and Charles Manson as a brother would seem unremarkable in comparison. All in all, a show so depressing that despite the award-winning cast and well written story, I didn't care to even contemplate the play after it had ended.

The last "play" we saw was called Fuerza Bruta. Considering how difficult a time as I had trying to describe the Radiohead concert due to its amazing-ness, I am bound to fail at trying to describe this event. Imagine standing in a room with a couple hundred other people, fog machines blasting, giant fans, water cannons, a man on a treadmill crashing through foam-brick walls, and girls dancing in a water-filled Plexiglas cage that is being lowered over your head. That image, the one you have in your head right now, it's nothing compared to what I witnessed. If you ever, EVER have a chance to see this show, see it. I cannot explain how amazing it was. Ok, it was so good that at the end of the show, people were so hyped that they (including me) were willingly dancing in a downpour of water, not caring about the effects on electronics in pockets, or how it will affect getting home.

The rest of the trip was fantastic and wonderful and a bunch of other terms describing happiness that I don't feel like typing out right now.

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Skipping a little bit of time, Megan surprised me with an early birthday present: Beck tickets. That's right, tickets to see Spoon, MGMT, and Beck at the Hollywood Bowl. The night consisted of free wine, a very tall man cracking his head open on the concrete in front of me, two great opening bands, more wine, and a machine-like Beck who pumped out around 30 songs in his set. Not only that, he had a 30-piece (or so) orchestra behind him so he could play songs from Sea Change. In other words, holy crap it was amazing. Every part of the concert was awesome.

Afterwards <---not a real word, is it? (and not a ton will be said about this) we hit Vanguard to dance the rest of the night away. All in all, a fantastic (if not early) birthday celebration.

And now? Well now there are dreams of cruise ships and new jobs and moving to new places and embarking in new enterprises. Life is fun and hectic and seriously draining all of my money...but I wouldn't trade it for all the world.

Now People...

I had this fantastic philosophy teacher whose name I shall politely omit (not because I think he will stumble upon my blog -since the chances of that are less than the chances that Oprah will gain a conscience, donate all her personal belongings to charity and devote her life to feeding the poor- but because I respect the man too much to belittle him with a seemingly degrading blog post), since he has been such an inspiration to me that a humorous blog devoted to him seems mean-spirited.

Now don't get me wrong...I think naming a man and "making fun" of him is mean-spirited, however I am still doing it; but by not naming him I am merely pointing out a humorous part of my life without degrading an amazing person.

Anyway, back to the issue at hand...

I had a teacher who had, shall we say, a quirk. He would constantly interject the phrase "now people," or the word, "people," into his sentences. For example:

"Now people, don't get me wrong; but Kant didn't think this through..."

Or...

The only problem with this, people, is that existentialism ignored modern logic."

I'm not so sure you get my point. He said this phrase/word a LOT. As in a whole-friggin-lot.

I had taken a previous class with him and knew this quirk, so I decided, in one particular class, to take a tally of how many times he said it. I started out as a lone gunman, marking tallies between furious note-taking. Soon enough, my neighbors noticed something odd about my habits and asked what I was doing. When I informed them of my task, they gladly lended helping hands...pointing out "now people"s when I didn't notice.

The following picture is my tally sheet. I apologize for the poor quality:



It's not easy to see (click to enlarge), but he hit a max of 63 "now people"s on 3-28-05.

I considered making a nice laminated version of the tally sheet and giving it to him at the end of the semester; but I had this horrible vision of him feeling so much self-doubt about himself that he would fold into the fetal position in the middle of a class and never be able to teach again for fear that he would utter that god-forsaken phrase yet again. So I held on to it. And tonight I happened to stumble upon it and felt the insatiable need to share it with someone...even if that "someone" is the faceless internets that I stare into so many nights.

So enjoy, oh internets, and revel in the glory that is quirky teachers.

Bizarre (Out of Context) Line from News Article of the Day!

"Zaidi was also banned from allowing or encouraging anyone under the age of 16 to beat themselves during the next 12 months."

Wha?

"Wait, she's doing what?!?

I just got back from an amazing trip to NY and have some fun stuff to share; but it's late and I'm tired and you'll have to wait for that (if you can!).

In the meantime, I wanted to take a minute to brag about my little sister Ashley. She has put many years and countless hours into her dance and performance arts knowing full well that it might never pan out quite the way she hoped it would.

Well, it has started to pay off.

First off, keep an eye out for the commercial for the next season of Nip/Tuck. Ashley is one of the dancers playing the parts of Twiggy and some queen who I can't recall at the moment.

Second, and even more exciting, she just danced backup for Rihanna at the MTV Video Music Awards! Sorry for the horribly pixelated picture. It seems that even with all our advances in technology we still can't get a clean screen-capture of TV events (then again I'm complaining about something I'm relying on other people to do for me...how American!). She was chosen to be one of the few core dancers for Rihanna's performance and she got some great screen time. If you want to see the whole thing, Click Here.

On top of all of that, she recently modeled clothes at a celebrity function, tried out for a new Cirque Du Soleil show, and is being considered to be a model for a high-end jean company.

It's funny that it's my sister, because I usually get to tell stories that start off with, "Oh, I know this guy whose sister..." and now I get to say, "Hey, guess what my sister just did?" I'm incredibly proud of her and just thought I'd share.

Oh, and if you see her walking down the street, don't be shy, she only charges $10 for an autograph.

"The only way I can describe it is 'transcendent.'"

Late last month Megan and I went to see Radiohead at the Hollywood Bowl. I had never seen them before so I was asking around to see which friends had seen them. You know, to get an idea of what I was in for. Without fail, every person who had seen them raved about how amazing they were. Now, I'm a pretty big fan of Radiohead, but I assumed that people were getting caught up in the hype of a band they adored. I never assumed I would experience what I did.

Without a doubt, Radiohead was the best live show I have ever seen. In fact, I don't even want to call it a "live show" since it was so much more. The strange thing is, I can't figure out why. I dissected each individual part of the night to see if I could understand better. Here's the closest I could come to a formula:

Amazing light show that must be seen to be understood (see picture at top)
+
As close to perfect of a performance from the group as possible
+
Almost every song I hoped to hear
+
Not too many completely annoying people around to ruin the experience
=
The perfect concert experience

But wait, that doesn't make sense. I've been to shows before that have all those elements and I still walked away from those shows thinking, "that was fun"...not, "that was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced."

It makes even less sense when you consider how many negatives surrounded the experience:

-We were sitting 3 rows from the very back of the Bowl (that's REALLY far away)
-I had had multiple alcoholic beverages (dulling the senses)
-The people in front of us spent the first part of the show talking quite loudly, as if they were at a party with friends and the music was just coming from the radio (though thanks to our seat-neighbors they were quieted)
-Megan had to work the next morning (at 8:30am) and the show was going late
-Etc, etc, etc

I look at the positives (which seem very generic), and I add in the negatives (which seem pretty annoying/distracting), and my first thought is that the end result should not be so great. So what is it that made that particular show so incredible?

It has to be soul.

Thom York (even from the back of the Bowl) exudes such passion for what he is doing that you can't help but be sucked in and entranced by every vocal utterance and musical sound. Watching him sing and play makes me think that if he was not making music, he would die. He puts so much of himself into every second of the show that it is no longer like watching a concert...it is more like watching a performance piece where the main character is bearing his every emotion for all to see.

I saw this show over a week ago and have stalled writing about it since then. I have a really hard time writing about something so meaningful when I know that my words will hardly convey how I feel or how the experience actually was. Imagine reading a blog about how amazing skydiving is. No matter how perfect the word choice is, you are not going to understand what skydiving is like...unless you do it.

The last two paragraphs are my biggest concern right now. First, I didn't want to write about this because I knew that my experience would never be fully conveyed in words. Second, I didn't want to start writing about the "oh-my-gosh-it-was-magical" aspect of the show because I knew it would start to sound pretentious. There seems to be no easy way of writing about a band like Radiohead. In one respect, they are just a band; in another, they are the mouthpiece for a generation that feels full of despair and hopelessness over the prospect of the future. They are some amazing conglomeration of the wholly physical and secular and wholly metaphysical and spiritual.

And in the end, I feel as if I should have kept all this to myself...like that kid you see cupping something in his hands and peeking at whatever it is he has while he smiles a smile that reads: I am the luckiest person in the world. At the same time, if I don't at least attempt to share experiences like this one, I will end up conveying that my life is uninteresting dross not worth your time. But just like I feel that my friend's stories and experiences are enlightening and life-enhancing, so I hope mine are.

This is...really sad

If you haven't seen this commercial, you should really see it. No, I take that back, you really shouldn't. It's got to be the most awful attempt at advertising I have seen in a long time. Pay close attention to the "friends" having a "awesome time" watching the lucky owner of the Guitar Idol!:

Does this thing still work?

So...after a little influence from the girlfriend I decided to start writing on this site again. It's been a while, and I'm not sure how much resolve I have; but hopefully I can start writing again for the 2 of you who still occasionally check the now 7 year old 50Fifty.

A ton has happened since I last wrote, but it seems futile to try and catch up. So why not just start from now and look to the future?

A couple days ago Megan and I went to see the Pageant of the Masters. If you've never seen this event, you really should. It's basically human "reenactments" of famous paintings and sculptures lit so perfectly that they seem to be 2-D (or made of metal/wood/plaster/etc). It's a truly amazing feat.

We showed up early to see the art exhibits being shown in the area outside the arena. It was interesting to compare the prices of the art I enjoyed versus the prices of the art I found pretentious and/or severely lacking in one way or another. Every time I saw a red dot next to a piece I would check the price:

-Hotel-worthy painting of the sea: $3900
-Twisted piece of metal: $5000
-Incredibly ugly characteratures of presidential candidates: $2500

Most of the art I was drawn to and amazed by was not only unsold, but oftentimes priced much more reasonably.

I found myself relieved that I did not attempt to make a living based on art I made. I would simply be devastated if something I put my heart and soul into never sold and never garnered any interest. Then again...my desired career is artistic; and it is very possible that something I put my all into will be mocked and put down. A car salesman can base his or her success on sales; but he or she will never go home crying because somebody put down a creation of his or hers. Art is a strange field where one's success is directly related to a totally subjective opinion.

Imagine if you were a waiter and you walked up to a table and this conversation ensued:

Waiter: Hi, welcome to ________, I'll be your server tonight.
Guest 1: Hmmm, honey, what do you think?.
Guest 2: I dunno, he's kinda pale...and skinny.
Guest 1: Yeah, and his hair is totally not in style.
Waiter: But, but I'm a great server! Seriously!
Guest 2: Oh, well, um...we're just looking.
Guest 1: Yeah, we're not too into this, sorry.

This is the kind of dejection that artists feel all the time. People walk up, look at their hard work, subjectively judge it, and very possibly reject it like it's not even worth their time.

I'm tempted to get into a big discussion of aesthetics (the subject of my last class in grad school); but I don't have the drive or the ability to make it intriguing enough to make you want to read it. So I'll leave this at one thought: how do you make aesthetic judgments?

I'd love to hear a few opinions. If you feel so inclined, leave as long a comment as you like explaining how you view beauty and the human inclination towards the "beautiful." I have my own opinions, but I'd love to hear yours. Another way of phrasing the question: when you look at something and say, "Wow, that is beautiful!" are you saying that as an objective judgments (i.e. everyone should see the beauty in this) or are you saying it subjectively (i.e. I find this beautiful, but hey, that's just my opinion); and either way, what are the criteria for something to be beautiful?

(Side question: why do we find the things we find beautiful, beautiful?)

Anyway, here's to writing in my blog again. Cheers.

You have got to be kidding me...