This is...really sad

If you haven't seen this commercial, you should really see it. No, I take that back, you really shouldn't. It's got to be the most awful attempt at advertising I have seen in a long time. Pay close attention to the "friends" having a "awesome time" watching the lucky owner of the Guitar Idol!:

Does this thing still work?

So...after a little influence from the girlfriend I decided to start writing on this site again. It's been a while, and I'm not sure how much resolve I have; but hopefully I can start writing again for the 2 of you who still occasionally check the now 7 year old 50Fifty.

A ton has happened since I last wrote, but it seems futile to try and catch up. So why not just start from now and look to the future?

A couple days ago Megan and I went to see the Pageant of the Masters. If you've never seen this event, you really should. It's basically human "reenactments" of famous paintings and sculptures lit so perfectly that they seem to be 2-D (or made of metal/wood/plaster/etc). It's a truly amazing feat.

We showed up early to see the art exhibits being shown in the area outside the arena. It was interesting to compare the prices of the art I enjoyed versus the prices of the art I found pretentious and/or severely lacking in one way or another. Every time I saw a red dot next to a piece I would check the price:

-Hotel-worthy painting of the sea: $3900
-Twisted piece of metal: $5000
-Incredibly ugly characteratures of presidential candidates: $2500

Most of the art I was drawn to and amazed by was not only unsold, but oftentimes priced much more reasonably.

I found myself relieved that I did not attempt to make a living based on art I made. I would simply be devastated if something I put my heart and soul into never sold and never garnered any interest. Then again...my desired career is artistic; and it is very possible that something I put my all into will be mocked and put down. A car salesman can base his or her success on sales; but he or she will never go home crying because somebody put down a creation of his or hers. Art is a strange field where one's success is directly related to a totally subjective opinion.

Imagine if you were a waiter and you walked up to a table and this conversation ensued:

Waiter: Hi, welcome to ________, I'll be your server tonight.
Guest 1: Hmmm, honey, what do you think?.
Guest 2: I dunno, he's kinda pale...and skinny.
Guest 1: Yeah, and his hair is totally not in style.
Waiter: But, but I'm a great server! Seriously!
Guest 2: Oh, well, um...we're just looking.
Guest 1: Yeah, we're not too into this, sorry.

This is the kind of dejection that artists feel all the time. People walk up, look at their hard work, subjectively judge it, and very possibly reject it like it's not even worth their time.

I'm tempted to get into a big discussion of aesthetics (the subject of my last class in grad school); but I don't have the drive or the ability to make it intriguing enough to make you want to read it. So I'll leave this at one thought: how do you make aesthetic judgments?

I'd love to hear a few opinions. If you feel so inclined, leave as long a comment as you like explaining how you view beauty and the human inclination towards the "beautiful." I have my own opinions, but I'd love to hear yours. Another way of phrasing the question: when you look at something and say, "Wow, that is beautiful!" are you saying that as an objective judgments (i.e. everyone should see the beauty in this) or are you saying it subjectively (i.e. I find this beautiful, but hey, that's just my opinion); and either way, what are the criteria for something to be beautiful?

(Side question: why do we find the things we find beautiful, beautiful?)

Anyway, here's to writing in my blog again. Cheers.

You have got to be kidding me...

At the Risk of Sounding Overemotional...
(Wait...have I used that title before?
Maybe I should call it:
At the Risk of Sounding Senile...)

A lot is changing. I'll be finishing grad school in July and will officially be a master of philosophy...which means a whole lot of nothing to most of the world. I'll be many years behind the technological advances of the field I want to pursue. I'll be moving to a new place and crossing my fingers that I will be making enough money to take care of myself. I will be over 2 years into a fantastic relationship. I will be living the life of a "grown-up" even though that title is probably something I should have been living up to for quite a while now.

Things are changing and things are scary and I'm not sure I even know what "things" are.

But here's to the future. Nothing is the same as it was (which is probably a good thing); nothing will be as I imagine (which could be a good thing); and I'm just along for the ride. Life is interesting for a twenty-something with no real plan for the rest of his life.

Why My Girlfriend is Awesome

*While playing GTA 4 as Megan sits by and watches*

Grant: So, what should we do now?

Megan: Ooh! Let's go kill some hookers!

Grant: I didn't mean in the game.

Megan: ...Neither did I.

I'm such a slacker when it comes to writing on this site. At one point a few years ago I promised to update every day. That became an impossible task and I fell into the rut of updating every few weeks. Then every few months. Now? It's like winning the lottery to find a new post...only replacing the absurd amounts of money with some rather mundane words that are rather unimportant.

So here ya go. A post. Just for you. Because you're special.

And a picture:

"You cannot hate other people without hating your self."
-Author: anonymous

Alternate Title: The Really Really Really Long Post


So I have a lot of totally un-researched, unproven, scientifically-supportless theories about how things work. Whether it be my theory:
1) that men are taught to be constantly sexual to the highest degree (by movies, magazines, music, and bad parenting, etc), so whether they are or are not, they act that way to be accepted socially (since a male who does not act like a sexual predator is deemed inept/gay/irregular); and women are taught to not be base enough to give in to the animal urge for sex (by latent Victorian standards, "studies" on how often women desire sex, "studies" saying women do not think of sex in the same way men do, etc), so whether or not they are overly sexual, they pretend to not care about it. This then results in men who are not overly sexual acting like they are and women who are at least moderately sexual acting like they are not and the two of them clashing when, in reality, they are much more like each other than they realize...

or 2) that many who claim to be oppressed end up (accidentally or intentionally) oppressing others...i.e. atheists who say "don't push your views of God on me" but fight to have their view be the only view taught in science/history classes thereby pushing their view of there being no God on every child in the educational system; or any group (be it women, blacks, illegal immigrants, etc) who at one time in the past (or even now, in the present) were/are put down upon, only to be angry that the equality effort on their behalf did not put them above those who oppressed them (thereby desiring oppression of others even though their anger is spawned from oppression in the first place). I.E. Feminists who are (rightly so) angry that women could not vote in the past and were treated as maids who reared the children; but then in an attempt to gain 'equality' demand jobs doing things like firefighting even when unqualified thereby causing the system to lower standards (and possibly put people in danger). Addendum to the last paragraph: I am NOT saying that women can't do jobs like front-line military service or fighting fires. I know that the upper 25th percentile of women have no problem meeting the same standards as men. I'm using this as an example that is sometimes true.

You'll have to forgive me, I'm a horrible hypocrite. I get easily angered when someone with no background in philosophy attempts to make a philosophical argument and completely ignores the entire field/dialog on the topic they are discussing in order to push their ignorant views; however, I'm more than willing to enter a field I have little background in (i.e. psychology) to tell everyone that I am right.

So...my point is that I am not formally educated in the field that would properly discuss this topic, yet, if one uses common sense, the point I am going to make is at lease valid and worth discussing. So I hope you'll read on and not dismiss this as ignorant.

::
::

The funny thing is that my entire point is very, very simple. Yet,I don't think too many people have put much credence in the idea. Here it goes:

The things that people hate in others are often things they hate in themselves,

Yeah, I know I need to qualify that statement.

Differentiation between different scenarios where I see this:

1. The Capacity Argument
We all have certain capacities to do certain things. Whether or not these capacities are ever realized, they are there. Easy example, I have the capacity to learn Spanish almost fluently. Will I ever? Who knows, but I have the capacity to. Capacities can be good, bad, or neutral. The capacity to learn Spanish is neutral. The capacity to become more compassionate and become the head of a non-profit organization would be viewed by many as good. The capacity to become an addict would usually be seen as bad.

You've heard people say, "I have an addictive personality, I need to be careful." This kind of person sees the possibility of becoming addicted to anything from caffeine to painkillers to video games. You've also heard people say, "That guy who [takes pain killers every day/drinks a ton of coffee/etc] is SO pathetic. He has no self-control." This often comes across as angry, adamant, and incredibly condescending. I would wager that those two comments are often said by the same person. The addictive personality person hates those addicted to something because he is restricted (at least personally) from doing them. Whether or not he wants to drink absurd amounts of coffee, he desires on some level to do the things he knows he can't. It's a red button and we all love pushing red buttons.

This is tricky, because the person is usually the opposite of the thing they hate:

The girl who works out 3 hours a day and has 5% body fat who hates obese people (because she sacrifices so much to not be like them). The guy working a minimum-wage job who hates rich people who blow their money on golden toilets (because he would love to live extravagantly but can't even afford toilet paper). The girl who hates religious people and rants about how stupid anyone following a religion is (because she, deep down, sees something in religion that seems right). And the list goes on.

2. The Actualized Argument
The next set of people are living the thing they hate. A prime example is the stand-up comedian. What do comedians make the most jokes about? Themselves. The fat ones make fat jokes. The gay ones make gay jokes. The ugly ones make ugly jokes. And so on and so on. People always have qualms with themselves. And seriously, how many times have you heard the question: "If there was one thing about yourself you could change, what would it be?" The easiest way to deal with disappointment is to mock it. This is the group of people who have some flaw (whether public or private) and relentlessly mock it when they see it in other people.

3. The Jealousy Argument
This is the type of person who shows extreme disdain for some trait/action/etc in others; but they secretly wish they could be like that person. For example, a person might hate people who live minute-to-minute (the kind who would up and move to another country at a whim) because "that kind of person is irresponsible." Yet the one hating wishes they could be that lacking in responsibility. But they have made a decision to accomplish something that does not allow for such spontaneity. Most people see something in others that they sometimes wish they could have, but for one reason or another disdain that quality.

Now trust me, I understand that this is not a universal evaluation. I might genuinely hate people who kill others and feel no remorse; but that does not mean I necessarily wish I could do the same or even have the propensity to do the same. I mean this in general. Also, there is the problem of the over-use of the word "hate"...so much so that the word hardly means anything anymore. Yeah, I hate eggplant, but that does not mean I want to be one. I'm speaking of "hate" on a deeper level.

Anyway, there's yet another unproven (and likely unprovable) assumption I have about humanity. Take it as you will.