Top Ten Phrases Uttered By Me or About Me that I Hope to God Never Literally Come to Fruition:

1. That's really hitting below the belt.
2. He's only got one leg left to stand on.
3. He's half the man he used to be.
4. I'll keep my eyes peeled.
5. He has some skeletons in the closet.
6. I'm in a pickle here.
7. Oh it went in one ear and out the other.
8. He's talking out his ass.
9. I know I'm beating a dead horse here.
10. You scared the crap outta me!