Thursday of the Fifteenth Week of Ordinary Time

I completely forgot to post results from the last Poll of the Week (or PW as the cool kids call it...the cool kids who aren't from the midwest or the south who know those initials as the infamous Piggily Wiggily), so here they are:

Which of These is Not True (results)

1- First alcoholic drink was at age 19 (0 votes)
--I guess everyone either thinks I was a lush at an early age, or was a relatively late bloomer. Either way, this is true.

2- I was almost named miles (2 votes)
--Though you might like to think that my parents would not bestow such a name upon me, it's true...I was almost Miles Paige.

3- I couldn't whistle or snap until about age 18 (3 votes)
--Thanks to the three of you who thought that I would have been more talented by that age to have acquired such skills, but this is true. Luckily I can now whistle, and have even been given the nickname "snappy" due to excessive snapping at times.

4- I used to have a comb-over (2 votes)
--Thanks for the vote of confidence folks, but it's true, I used to sport that atrocious hairstyle with a part on one side and a slight pompadour thing on the other but not so much in the greaser style. Oh man was I stylin.

5- I got straight A's until college (3 votes)
--The three of you either voted for this due to 1) Having heard me tell you before, 2) Thinking that I surely got straight A's even IN college, or 3) Thinking that I'm not too bright and surely got a few B's or maybe D-'s before college. The third grouping would be correct. Math, one of the banes of my existence, thwarted my straight A's in 7th grade. Oh the atrocity!

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And now for something (not) completely different...

Would You Rather Have ________ (results):

1- Three arms (1 vote)
--Upside: Just think of how much you could juggle!
--Downside: Two arms is already hard enough when sleeping, where the heck would the third one go?

2- Three eyes (1 vote)
--Upside: You could probably pass yourself off as some kind of Oracle
--Downside: If you have bad eyes think of the corrective lens cost!

3- Three legs (0 votes)
--Looks like nobody considered the possibility of winning a three legged race every frickin time.

4- Three brains (3 votes)
--Upside: You could pay attention in class AND play Tetris at the same time!
--Downside: Enormous cranium...and probably not too many dates.

5- Three nipples (3 votes)
--Upside: Come on! It's three nipples! Need I say more?
--Downside: Sans a third pectoral muscle, where the heck would it go?

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So what have we learned here? That Grant isn't a super genius and that nipples and brains are better than arms, legs, and eyes.

Now you know, and knowing's half the battle.

Le avventure di Megan e di Grant

Oh honorable reader, oh dearest friend, oh seeker of knowledge and truth...sit down and be smitten with a tale so glorious, so horrible, so uproarious as to instantly go down in the history of histories, the annals of 50Fifty.

Grant, after a hard day at work (which lasted only 1.5 hours) called Megan who had an even harder day...at a spa having a massage and lounging in a jacuzzi. The plans for tonight? To hit the not-so-infamous Shark Club to dance the night away. After getting decked out in fashionable club-wear they drove to the blue neon signs and the large bouncer guarded doors.

Walking up to the door two guys in wife-beaters are staring at us. I dismiss this as I say "Ladies first" and let Megan go ahead of me. The bouncer says, "That was nice of you," which, at the time, meant nothing more than that which it would usually mean.

Inside I notice a sign...this is not the same club I was at the last time I was here. Tonight it's called Friction. There is different music, a different crowd, and even different decor in some places. We hit the bar, get some drinks, and head to the outside area to mingle and sip from our plastic cups.

Once outside Megan says to me, "At first I totally thought you were taking me to a gay club because of those guys standing outside in their wife-beaters." I laughed and took a sip of my drink. Then I looked around and noticed a few things: 1) There were only about 5 girls in the group of 50 or so people, and they were all, shall we say, overweight. 2) The guys were all dressed either very fashionably (more so than usual club attire) or very revealing. 3) I was getting checked out...a lot...and not by the 5 fat girls.

Megan suddenly looks shocked and says, "This is a GAY club!"

Hmm...things now make sense. The name Friction, the lack of girls, the getting checked out...yup, definitely accidentally showed up on a night when the club was having it's gay night.

As if we needed any more confirmation, as we were dancing on the main floor three guys in white boxer-briefs get up on stage and start dancing while people put dollar bills in their underwear. Then, as if straight from Cirque, a guy is swinging on a big metal hoop in the air above everyone dancing.

Megan couldn't keep it together and was laughing hard enough to need to cover her mouth while I attempted to dance in a direction where I wouldn't see any gyrating men (thereby forcing Megan to have them directly in her line of sight). I had a few stalkers who I guess thought that my dancing with Megan was me playing hard to get. I guess they thought me kissing her was more of the same.

Ok ok...I have to concede...I can sympathize with girls who say they don't like going to clubs because of how persistent and annoying guys can be.

All in all though a very interesting evening. I'm sure Megan won't simply take my club suggestions at face value anymore though. I guess a little bit of internet research would have cleared things up.

Worth $36?



I'm not sure.

New stuff over at Fifty50!!!

An updated life for updated times

This has already been a full summer, and it's only the beginning of July. Here's a short recap of 'things that have happened' for all those I neglect to talk to often enough:


1- Thanks to everyone who partook in the ground-breaking 50Fifty Poll of the Week (which was more like poll of the month). Here are the results for the "Should Grant Get This Tattoo" Poll:

4- Yes.
8- No.
2- He couldn't even take the pain.
4- You're kidding, right?

Now since people can vote more than once, it's possible that somebody just really abhorred the idea of a tattoo on me and voted that. Sadly, I don't base my life on internet polls (wait, maybe not sadly), so you'll all have to wait and see if I actually do it or not. Oh the anticipation!

Now vote on the next poll!


2- After I aced my summer school theology course I went to see Flight of the Conchords with Megan. We hit LA, went to Canters, stood in line for around 4 hours, and got to see the funniest comedy act anywhere in the world. Here is the only photographic proof I have of the event:



No cameras were allowed inside so we took one outside. There are a few more of our feet and the Canters sign, but I'll save you the trouble of scrolling past them.


3- I went to La Quinta with my family. Yes, it was over 110 most days. Yes, I almost died. Here is some photographic evidence of my family's trip (there are hundreds more):



Yeah, were soon all drinking margaritas. The trip also included heat, more heat, golfing, spa stuff, heat, Chad's birthday, a belated father's day, more heat, Chad's dog dying, more heat, an aerial tram, and too much food.


4- After I got back I spent some much needed time away from the heat and with Megan. Part of which was at Christina's second half of her birthday party (since I missed the first half)! Here is some photographic evidence of that crazy little shindig:



Yeah, we're playing Shots N' Ladders. I totally had to take a shot of Peppermint Schnaps (thanks Aro) and we christened Christina's soon to be abandoned apartment with lots of spilled champagne.


5- The 4th was spent at a backyard pool party in Redlands con Megan y la familia de Megan. There was lots of margaritas, lots of swimming (and getting attacked by small children), good food, some distant fireworks, and a very strange venturing into a Sav-On Drugs. Sadly there is no photographic evidence that any of this occured.


6- Now it's the 5th and we're having a belated bowl-o-thon at Lynbrook Lanes for Chad's now belated birthday. There will surely be karaoke, alcohol, bad bowling, good bowling, and pictures. You'll be sure to see them.


And now? Now I will take a short nap. I'm exhausted. Don't worry, you're all caught up on my life now. You can take a deep breath. I'll keep you informed if any other life-altering activities take place.

Oh the wonders of the internet...

Today I got a "request" from Facebook which looked like this:

You have a request from Megan Ball to add her as your girlfriend. [confirm] [reject]

Apparently the internet allows us push-button relationship status now?

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Oh, by the way, I pushed accept.