Shades of Blue and Pink

DISCLAIMER: You can ignore this...it's just for me

It's funny how when you grow up it is easy to think that everything is black and white. There is good and there is evil and never the twain shall meet.

And by "funny" I mean "the most confusing (possibly horrible) thing ever."

It slaps you pretty hard in the face when you suddenly realize one day that you are going to have to make a decision that is a catch-22. You weigh the pros and the cons and you stop dead in your tracks and think to yourself, "Wait...but either way I have to do something awful." Your brain racks itself for a simple answer. I mean, there has to be one right? A right one that is. You must just be overlooking it. There's always a "right" choice.

And this isn't even taking into account the fact that most people don't have any clue what "right" or "wrong" means. It's all relative and I want to punch them in the face and say it's right for me.

Then you realize something. Hopefully. It's there for understanding if you are willing to look past your own discomfort in order to grasp this concept that is so simple out of context, but once in the middle of a situation like this, it is harder to hold onto than a handful of water. That realization is that everything has a reason.

No...wait...I don't care if you believe in God, or god, or gods, or fate, or karma, or reincarnation, or anything even remotely outside of yourself. There is nothing that could possibly happen to you that will not have some sort of positive outcome if you are willing to understand it. I don't care if it is death, or heartbreak, or destruction, or the worst your mind can concoct. If you are willing to...you will gain something from it.

Screw shades of black and white...I paint in shades of blue and pink.

Havarti and Hobos

I call him Whipped Cream Dean. As far as I can tell, whipped cream is his greatest joy in life. It used to be heroine, but maybe a concoction of cream, sugar, and vanilla has taken its place. Caramel too. Give him a cup of caramel topped whipped cream and he'll be ecstatic.

He doesn't impose himself on anyone. He greets you warmly and asks you how you are doing. He offers to pay for everything even though he doesn't even have enough money for a cup of coffee. And you can tell by his eyes that he is immensely generous and compassionate.

Tonight he was trying to scrape together a few pennies for an overly priced sandwich. Chances are he hasn't eaten in a day or two and here I am...someone who complains when I skip one or two meals. I offered to by him a sandwich and his eyes lit up, but he told me he could get some cash together for it. I ignored him and bought it for him anyway. He shook my hand and wouldn't stop thanking me.

Sometimes I wonder if I do things like that to feel good about myself, or if I truly want that person to be happy. I hope it's the latter.

I Made A New Header...

...but I think it only looks right using Firefox. So nobody is allowed to see my page unless using Firefox. Ok, that's a lie, but don't be confused if the pictures are in really odd places.

Life is hectic and odd and confusing as always, but good. I'm working too much, cutting films, never ever sleeping, drinking too much coffee, and rarely going out to have fun. And I thought my senior year would be a cakewalk. Um...yeah, what exactly is a cakewalk? I mean other than that stupid game where you walk around in a circle and when the music stops you have to be standing in a numbered square and then a numbered card is pulled out of a basket and if your number is called you get a cake.

Or am I the only one who has done that?

I saw Constantine. I actually thought Keanu did a pretty good job in it. He didn't play the confused guy the whole time, which is new for him, and he never uttered the word, "Woah." All in all a very fun film to watch, slightly confusing since I haven't read the graphic novel, and not a waste of money in my opinion.

Ok, I haven't eaten since 12pm yesterday and I'm meeting with the director of While In Mexico in about 5 minutes. So I'm gone. See you...wait...I was about to say "see you all on the flip side" but I never say that. So, um...see you on the flip side.

Farewell



"The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."
Hunter S. Thompson

You Can Laugh All You Want...I've Got My Philosophy

The last couple days have been odd to say the least. It all started with seeing a car that had apparently hit a wall and burst into flames Hollywood style. No seriously, half the car was a burnt cinder. Later Chad and I were heading to LA and a huge tanker truck (the long cylindrical type) was pouring white smoke out of the back. The words on the side were "warning: nitrogen cooled refrigerant." There was a hole in the truck and if it blew up I probably wouldn't be here right now. Later a few cars almost hit a big metal tank of gas that had fallen off of a truck that was loaded down with tanks of gas and was headed to the hospital. Later, a car going the opposite direction I was going pulled directly into my lane as if to say, "this is my lane now" and I had to swerve out of his way with about 1 foot to spare, otherwise I would have been in a head on collision going 45mph. My hands shook for about an hour after.

Then at *bucks our one and only blender broke and our back room flooded.

In other news, do you remember Heidi from the Disney channel?

Yeah, that blonde girl. I'm editing her grad film. She was also in 90210. The show not the place.

It is now many hours from when I first started this and in true recent-grant-style I have been distracted by a hundred other things and have now finally returned to a former project. Sadly, it's 11:21pm and I have to be up early. So in closing, I want to say one thing:

Viva La Stache

In Response To The Haircut Post:

This coming from a guy who voted for Bush. That's rich.
Steve | 02.10.05 - 7:56 pm |


sigh...this again.

ok, one more time.

I live in California. California will only be a republican state when hell freezes over and satan hands out cherry ice slushies to all the little children.

This being said, it made no difference whether or not I voted for Bush. I did not help him get into office, nor do I advocate anything he does.

That's like saying that I choose to live in the US therefore I advocate everything the US does.

Stop putting blame where blame doesn't belong.

And now to your regularly scheduled programs.

The Haven is Gone...Now Where Shall I Go?

It started with 4 shots of espresso, chapped lips, and a spilled drink. It ended with chocolate caked on my clothing, blurry vision, and an incoherant speech pattern.

Thus the aptly named Day From Hell begun.

Though I somehow see Hell as always being night. You never see paintings of Hell with a nice bright sun shining down on everyone as their flesh is burnt off and they gnash their teeth for all of eternity. Then again, you never really see a "sky" in those paintings either.

So maybe thus begun the pseudo-aptly named Time From Hell.

Then again I've had much worse days. And many people have had much worse days. So maybe Hell is too strong of an image. I mean, seriously.

So it's possible that the Really Bad Time had begun.

The problem now is that Really Bad Time doesn't sound so bad and that was the whole point of me writing this...to point out how bad the day has been. Sadly, in the course of working out the correct terminology I have deftly belittled the badness of said day and left myself with a mere shell of the feeling that the day has bestowed upon me.

Alright alright, fine....and thus begun The Day.

GET A HAIRCUT YOU HIPPIES!

Apparently in North Korea right now the government has come to a very important conclusion. Here is the conversation that surely took place before the conclusion was concluded:

man 1: You know what's stopping better work ethics in this country?
man 2: I've been trying to figure it out...is it lack of moral? Maybe lack of benefits?
man 1: No...it's that damned long hair!
man 2: Of course!
man 1: How can a man perform his duties with hair that goes over his ears!?!
man 2: Hair that is over 2 inches is rebellious in nature!
man 1: Except maybe old men who are trying to cover balding.
man 2: True, maybe they could have 2.8 inch hair.

I'm totally not kidding.

Let's say Robert decides to be a rebel and he grows his hair 2.3 inches in length (the horror!). Sooner or later people will turn on the TV and see...you guessed it...Robert's face (and his atrociously long hair). The report will show Robert's name, his address, and a critique of his hair will follow. Phrases like, "Can this man properly perform his duties?" will follow.

Soon there will be a rebellion of the long haired. They will meet in secret underground rooms and take off their hats and wigs and unveil their oh-so-naughty long hair and they will revel in the glory and freedom that long hair brings.

This is kinda ridiculous.