I Know I Don't Post Anything with any Content Anymore...

...but I was perusing Sarah Brown's site and ran across this video by a band named Menomena and couldn't help but share it with anyone who still occasionally visits this site:

Skateboards: The Unknown Danger

I was skating to the 7-11 that is all of 1 block from my condo tonight. Mind you, I have been using a longboard for years now. I'm no Tony Hawk, but I can usually get to my destination on said longboard without too much of a problem.

But not tonight.

Somehow, my peddling got a bit too excited and my body gained too much momentum and I found myself moving faster than the board beneath my feet. As you might have by now assumed, this means that I surpassed the 45 degree [estimate] point and my board stayed at the pace I was previously moving (better read as: my board was moving at X speed and my body was moving at Y speed, where Y= very fast and X= not very fast).

Needless to say...I hit the pavement, did a stuntman roll, and lost some (read: a lot) of my epidermal layer.

Now I'm bandaged up like the Invisible Man when he's wanting to be seen by others.

Case in point:

Remind me to never join the X-Games.

P.S. I know it says "PANTIES" on the computer screen behind my aching hand, but I promise I was just reading a webcomic that has some strange links to other (more bizarre) webcomics. The first person who tries to be witty and makes a joke about my web-surfing destinations gets a slap in the face.

Does anyone else find this strange?

Marketing For Dummies

I was browsing the internet, as I am often to be found doing, and I ran across an ad for durian. If you don't know, durian fruit is this massively popular fruit in India (and possibly some other countries) that tastes, to almost anyone who did not grow up eating it, like rotten garbage with some extra rotten thrown on top. The smell is so foul that hotels have big "no durian fruit" signs and they often have special charcoal filtering systems in case someone sneaks one into the hotel and eats it. They are said to have mystical qualities and people go crazy for them. There have been murders over durian fruit sales.

So you can imagine my surprise at seeing an ad for this fruit that was aimed at Americans. As I checked out the ad, here is what I saw:
Take a look at all the claims this ad makes and then stop and think. Notice something a little bit odd? In one category we have mood elevator and cause of feeling younger. Sort of like an anti-depressant that makes you happier. Next we have energizer, to which we will add helps you lose weight since diet pills also usually give you energy. Next we have sexual stimulant. Next we have relaxant. Next we have...um...helps you make lots of money?

I have such a hard time thinking that people would buy this, but I guess they do.

How can one item make you happier and peppier AND help you with sexual problems AND help you fall asleep? My only guess is that it pumps you full of a speed-like substance which makes you happier which allows greater sexual performance which tires you out and makes you sleep well. And then it gets you lots of money. Or something?

Plus, we have to remember that this is a fruit. A natural, organic item. One that has not been scientifically engineered to perform a multitude of opposing functions in the human body.

The only way to achieve all those results with modern science is a drug cocktail kinda like this:
-Seroquel for happiness
-Sibutramine for pep and weight loss
-Yohimbine for aphrodisiacal qualities
-Nembutal for sleep

I don't even know where I'm going with this. I could end with the sad state of marketing ethics in our country, or how people forget to use their brains when something is promised to make them rich, or how lacking in true marketing skill most internet salesmen are...but instead I'll leave the moral up to you.

I will say one thing, however...if you ever get your hands on a durian, stay the heck away from me.