You Know You Spend Too Much Time at the Doctor When...

I walked into room 101 and headed towards the window.

Hi Grant! one of the three women cheerfully shouts.

Another of them says, Looks like you got a haircut.

It makes you look happier the third woman chimes in.

The little old woman who has seen my penis more times in the past year than I ever expected someone who's name I didn't even know to have seen it walked towards me. She held the urinalysis cup in her hand and sort of danced it around in the air like you would do to a baby that didn't want to eat it's strained carrots.

I followed her into the examination room and on her way out said, You know what to do and closed the door behind her.

Doctor K didn't even tell me what he was doing this time. Everything was deja vu and he proceeded to tell the nurse a little story about his daughter instead of paying attention to me and explaining his actions. The song It's All Been Done Before played in my head. He didn't even try and tell me to relax this time.

Within 15 minutes I was dressed again and Doctor K was drawing me a picture of my urethra and signing me up for another dilation in December.

Maybe next time he'll at least buy me dinner before touching my penis.