I have this theory. It's really not so much a theory, but a pet peeve. Or more so just an observance that I think others should think about. Why do we spend so much on the deceased? Now before I get a bunch of angry comments...I will just use myself as the subject here. To quote the Crash Test Dummies..."I'm still young...but I know my days are numbered...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and so on. But a time will come when these numbers have all ended..." At this point, my family will have a choice. On average, a $4,500 to $5,500 choice. 1) I could have my eyes removed and replaced with silicone balls and then sewn shut, my internal organs removed and my blood drained and replaced with a formaldehyde-like liquid, my lips sewn shut, and makeup put on me so everyone can look at me in a casket. 2) I could be put in a huge furnace for half an hour, have some strangers prod through my ashes and the lumps of calcium-deposit left, looking for any metal objects put in during surgeries, have a metal detector scan the ashes for fillings, then be put in a large blender to turn me into a fine powder, and finally be put in a jar so everyone can look at "me" on a mantel. or 3) I can be put in a big hole in the backyard and help some flowers grow better.

I choose 3.

The only thing I can figure out is that people are afraid of what happens after death and therefore take immaculate care of the deceased body since that is "all that is left." I myself am certain of what will happen to me after death, so who cares what happens to my body? All that will be left is a body...no mind...no soul...no me. I don't need a fancy casket, a plot of ground overlooking an incredible view, a new tuxedo, or a big production. All I want is for the people who cared to sit around, cry only if necessary, and then talk a little about who I was in life. Save the money and buy something.

Wow...that was kind of depressing. I promise you I'm not sad and depressed right now. I'm just confused as to why I'll have all that money spent on me after I'm dead. OOOH! Give me the money now and then I'll be able to appreciate it much more.

And on some much less death-like news...I'm going to bed...and I'm totally psyched about it!