I was handed a plastic bag and a folded garment. I was told to strip down naked, put my clothes in the bag, and put on the garment and the socks.

This is after months of antibiotics.
This is after a doctor's finger up my butt.
This is after unexplainable pain every time I peed for who knows how long.
This is after the blood test.
This is after getting up at 5:00am.

I put on the gown and laughed to myself because it's true...they really don't close in the back. If you do not hold the back flap closed, you will be mooning everyone behind you. The nurse said that my eyebrow piercing could cause a severe burn because of the cauterizing equipment...but I couldn't take it out...so I got to play dress-up and look like Nelly with a bandaid over my eyebrow. I laid down on the bed and took some deep breaths as the nurse got the IV ready. Now in case you don't remember....I don't do so well with needles. She slipped the IV into a vein and I breathed as deep as I could so as not to pass out before I could even get the anesthesia. You see...the needles I fear aren't SO bad because they are in and out. But this time I got to have a big tube in my arm for half an hour! FUN!

I was soon wheeled out of the prep room. You know that shot from every movie that has a hospital scene? That one from the patient’s perspective where you see the doctors and nurses rushing down the hall and the bright lights and the IV thingy rolling with you and doors being smacked open by your own feet? Well I got to experience that. I almost wanted to tell the doctors of my weird deja vu experience...only I didn't really have the experience before...it was just a movie.

I was pushed into a room with the air-conditioning set to Antarctica and classical music blaring. I had to slide onto a new bed and then shook hands with the anesthesiologist. He asked me where I went to school....I told him Chapman. He asked me what my major was....I told him film production. He told me he knew someone who was at Chapman for journalism as he started squeezing in the anesthetics....I responded with, "Yeah, I heard that Chapman is really....good for..............."

A tube was inserted into my urethra. The end of this tube has a small camera on it so see what the problem is. Another tube with a balloon on the end is then stuck in. This balloon is inflated to dilate the urethra to break up any blockage. I was told that the opening in my urethra was down to a needlepoint, and had I waited too much longer...that opening could have closed leaving the doctors no choice but to cut into me to open the blockage. Weee.

I then woke up and tried talking, but found it more than difficult. My dad mentioned that it would have been funny to have the camera. I responded with, "Yeah, it would be a good remembery. Wait...is remembery a word?" The doctor told me I had to pee before I could leave, so I went into the bathroom and lifted my gown. "Hey," I thought to myself, "there's blood on my penis and thigh!" Then I peed foamy blood.

I was given some painkillers which turn my urine Tang orange and threaten to turn my soft contacts orange too, and some antibiotics. And now I can pee without nearly crying. Hooray for minor surgery!