......and then I found five dollars.

Here are some rational thoughts that I wish I could inject into most of the worlds populous.

-Marriage for Dummies
Getting married at a really young age isn't stupid. Getting married at a really young age when you are not financially stable IS stupid. Then again...getting married at ANY age when you are not financially stable is stupid. I have some good friends, and some casual acquaintances who are married...and who are younger than I am. Sure this freaks me out, but that's not the point. Take this girl I know who I will call X for anonymity. X went to my high school and is my age. X got married at the age of 20, and though her parents are absurdly wealthy, she and her husband cannot afford to even live on their own. So here is X and her husband, Y, who are now living with X's parents and holding minimum wage jobs in hopes that some day they can live in their own house and have some privacy. As for now, X still has to ask daddy for spending money when she wants to go buy a pizza.

Seriously, what is so hard about waiting? X loves Y. Y loves X. Why will it make ANY difference if they get married at 20, or at 25. Those five years can make all the difference in being able to take care of a family. Sigh....

-Driving Lessons for the Painfully Stupid
Let's say we're taking a road trip. Let's say we're on the 5. Let's say we're going to be on the 5 for about 300 miles (since this was my situation four days ago). You have two choices. You can sit back and relax; pass if necessary and drive like a normal person. OR... you can commit these travesties: 1-riding 3 inches from the bumper of the car in front of you until they move, even though the lane to their right was clear for passing. 2-going absurd speeds to pass the car in front of you in order to get there before you have to slow down because of the semi-truck in the other lane, only to be stuck behind the next car which is an amazing 10 feet farther up the road....then doing this again and again and again. 3-riding 1 inch from the bumper of the car in front of you showing as much impatience as possible until the car moves over into the other lane so you can pass, only to have you slow down again, or go JUST fast enough so as not to pass the car that graciously moved over for you.

None of these will get you to your destination more than 5 minutes faster. All of these will raise your chances of getting a ticket or getting in an accident. Sigh....

-You are not God's gift to mankind
Parents: Letting your 10 year old girl dress like a hooker does not make you cool...but it does give 50 year old men something to look at. Ignoring the subject of sex completely, or calling it "of the devil" will only spur your little ones to want to try it more (check the stats on Jr. high sex). Sheltering your little baby from the big bad world will only work for so long...and if done to the extreme, will only backlash and lead to complete lack of thought when it comes to your kid being away from home (why do you think sex/drugs/drinking are so rampant among the kids of the strictest of Christian homes?)

Girls: Wearing slutty clothes will not make up for your beer belly. A thong sticking 4 inches out of your pants will not attract your knight in shining armor, unless your knight in shining armor keeps a tally of all the girls he has scored with. Calling yourself "princess", "queen", "hot", or "spoiled" only means one thing to guys...stay away from that girl. Fake breasts are super attractive...to guys who are purely (and only) obsessed with the physical (ie: not the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with). Just because the world (ie: Cosmo magazine) says that guys play mind games, does not make it true...believe me, what a guy says is what a guy means 95% of the time.

Guys: Games such as burnout, bloody knuckles, and gas pedal do not put you in a good light with the girls, unless you want to be seen as sophomoric or infantile. Working out till your man-boobs are big enough to need a bra will not attract the ladies. You are not going to find a girl who plays video games, farts, burps, watches porn, loves cars, plays sports, and loves sex even more than you...so stop looking. Pride is not attractive. Flashing money will attract needy women...just what you want, right?

Everyone: Reading a book won't kill you (and I mean a book without pictures). Figuring out why you believe what you believe is probably a smart idea. Religion is not a crutch...calling religion a crutch is a crutch. Spouting anti-america, anti-corporation, and anti-government lyrics is just a wee bit self-refuting when you are doing so on a major radio station. If you hate Bush/consumerism/capitalism so much...go spend a few weeks in Cuba. Stop arguing about issues you don't know anything about.

.....ok, I'm off my soapbox.

p.s. I have a friend who would always tell these really long stores that would go on and on and on and then suddenly stop. Everyone listening would keep staring as if waiting for the rest of the story, only there was no more story. They were just pointless stories. After a while, she realized that people never knew what the stories were about, so she started to tack on, "....um....and then I found five dollars." If everything you say needs said suffix...rethink what you're saying.