Hydracodene and Saltines

Wednesday the 11th I woke up around 10:30 in a white room, naked expect for a paper thin sheet, and I knew for a fact that I had been naked in front of at least 5 people and at least one of them had been touching my penis. No no, I'm not filing for sexual assault...I paid them to do this. I paid them at least $12,000 in fact. Yes, friends, it's time for another installment of "Grant Had Penis Surgery!"

No worries...no details this time. My first doctor was an idiot and messed me up a little. I have a new doctor who knew what he was doing, so once more I went under the knife. I can't believe I've been through well over a year of pain for a simple eighth inch of scar tissue. Alas...what is normally a small ordeal has become the bain of my existence.

The funny part about the whole thing is that I had to wear a catheter for 9 days. I felt like a super hero who never had to go to the bathroom. Sure it kinda leaked out of me into a plastic bag thing tied to my thigh...but technically I never had to GO to the bathroom. If I had a bottle with me, I could take a 24 hour road trip and never stop. That's not to say it wasn't the most annoying thing in the entire universe.

So I was hopped up on Vicodin and eating saltines for a day or two. Oh, and drinking at least 2 liters of water a day. Go find something in the store that is 2 liters. It's HUGE. I had to drink that every day. I would just sit there and drink water all day. It's really amazing how quickly water goes right through you when your bladder muscles are bypassed. Plus, working at *bucks on Vicodin is fun.

So now I have a month to heal and then it's right back to more cysto-dilations. The non-under-anesthesia kind. And I have at least 4 or 5 more of those.

There was this video in the doctor's office entitled, "What Every Man Should Know About His Prostate." I got thinking...I don't know too much about my prostate....what vital information is on this video? I may never know.

CONTEST TIME!!!
If anyone (but Naomi) can tell me what the little tube taped to a wall, or a cabinet, or a towel dispenser in every single doctor's office is, I will give them a dollar.

p.s. It's road trip time. I'll have pictures when I get back.