My First Black Eye



In the same vein as a Choose Your Own Adventure story, you guys will get to guess how I got my black eye and cuts!

a) I was heroically saving drowning puppies from a flooded pet store when a puppy-hater came in and tried to further the puppies immanent demise by lighting them all on fire. One would think that this was counterintuitive since they were already in water and the two elements don't really mix, but hey, who am I to tell him how to kill puppies? So we had an epic battle while swimming through the flooding pet store and there was fire and water and puppies, though I already mentioned those three items already. While rescuing the last poor little puppy the evil puppy-hater punched me in the face giving me a black eye, but then I escaped and locked him inside to drown with the bunnies and hamsters and other less-loved pets.

b) I was walking down the street when I saw a girl crossing when the No Walk sign was flashing. A speeding corvette was careening towards her and I knew she would run over if nobody saved her. I tossed my groceries in the air (because I was grocery shopping before hand and in a situation like this you don't simply set your groceries down nicely on the ground) and ran into the middle of the road. It was almost too late, but I grabbed her and jumped into the air just as the car was inches from turning us both into road kill. I planted one foot on the car and pushed off, doing a back flip while still holding the girl and landing gracefully on the ground as the car sped past. I set the girl down, bowed, and walked back to pick up my bruised avocados and other assorted damaged goods.

c) I got elbowed in the face playing basketball.