So you know all those really funny movies where some guy is in a car and has to go to the bathroom really badly and for some reason he can't stop so he pees in a bottle? Well, I'm not sure where the cameras were, but I somehow ended up in that exact scenario yesterday. Yeah, this needs some explanation...

There I am at a gas station, an hour and a half into what was supposed to be a 5 hour and 45 minute drive from San Jose to Orange. I was tired, so I grabbed my usual caffeine fix...a Starbucks double shot. But I was really tired...so I got two. I downed them quick and took a sip or two from my bottle of water. Then off I went towards LA. About the time I hit the grapevine (for those who don't know, this is a really long, really windy road that goes over a mountain) I had the sudden urge to pee. Well, this makes sense since I had coffee, which does cause one to need to pee much more so than most other liquids. I laughed to myself as I realized that there was nowhere to stop and go to the bathroom other than on a bush on the side of the road. This urge grew and grew kind of like that itch that you can't scratch, so it just gets worse and worse. Now I stopped laughing because...well...it just wasn't funny. I thought about pulling over, but what if I did and someone pulled over to help me and I was, well, you know. So I did the most drastic thing I could think of. I quickly drank the entire 20 ounce bottle of water I had, unbuckled my belt, unzipped my pants, and realized this would not be as easy as I first thought it would. The seat in my car is positioned so one's knees are higher than one's waist. This means the bottle would have to be tilted nearly horizontally. Also, I was going uphill, making things even more physically difficult. And even more horrific was the realization that the opening of this bottle of water was a mere 1 inch in diameter. If you don't happen to be a guy, this is a problem because...um...how to put this tactfully (ha, as if any of this story is "tactful") Ok, I'll put it this way...things don't "fit", meaning I was just going to have to aim very well. So there I am...driving one handed over a windy mountain road...peeing into a Dasani bottle. I'm sure this would have been quite laughable to any of the many truckers passing me who could easily look down and see, well, you know. And I'm not sure how much the human bladder can hold, but I filled the whole 20 ounce bottle.

So now when we're watching a movie and some guy has to pee in a bottle and everyone is laughing, I'll just nod knowingly and say, "I feel your pain."