The Plight of My Penis

If there is ANY part of a man's anatomy that he does not want in jeopardy.........it's his penis. Hell, give me broken bones, cataracts, horribly ingrown toenails....but stay the hell away from my penis.

Some of you might remember me talking about the trouble I've had with my penis. Others of you might merely remember that I talked about my penis because you thought it extremely weird/perverted/unnecessary. Well...plug your eyes if you don't want to hear some more...

Quick penis recap: I had scar tissue built up in my urethra and I had to have minor surgery to get the blockage cleared away.

Current penis recap: The scar tissue built back up, causing more pain when I urinated. WEE! Today I had to go in to the doctor and take off my clothes from the waist down. I then had to cover my exposed genitalia with a paper towel. The doctor came in and took a small clamp...or maybe you don't call it a clamp since it does the opposite of what a clamp does. But wait, it still clamps. Hrmm....well...basically it's two little metal prongs that go into the urethra and then open up, prying the hole wider, and then clamps in that position (kinda like the thing they use on girls at the gyno). Then he slathered some kind of numbing jelly into my urethra and gave me a shot in my penis. WEE! After a few minutes of pain, he walked over with a MUCH larger version of that clamp thing. Now, let's do a visualization here. Take a dime, now pretend that the opening to the urethra is that big (which, if you didn't happen to know, it's not). Now take a quarter...the size difference between the two is how much bigger the clamp thing was than the opening of my urethra. WEE! He slid it (or more like jammed it) inside and then squeezed a lever which opened the end of the clamp thereby dilating my urethra. All that I could get out of my mouth was, "ow."

Now I'm peeing blood again (and not just peeing...it kind of leaks out when I don't want it to...the blood, not the urine). Let's just say I've kinda lost hope that my penis will EVER go back to normal. And let's just say that hell can't be very different than having giant probes stuck down your penis.
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