Airport Shenanigans (V.2)

My brother and I headed to the airport to fly home for Thanksgiving. I didn't know how, but I knew that something semi-bad had to happen to me...because I can't go to the airport and have a really good, event free time. It started with me forgetting my boarding pass. Luckily Chad had printed mine out for me, somehow foreseeing my inevitable forgetfulness. We got through the security line and I saw everyone taking off their shoes before going through the metal detector...well this is new. So I took my corkscrews, ice picks, automatic weapons, retractable blades, and explosives out of my pockets and put them in a little plastic bin to be scanned under the x-ray machine. I walked through and heard the dreaded BEEP of my third arch nemesis, the metal detector (#1=the sun, #2=my own penis). I had forgotten to take off my hemp and metal bead necklace and my chains from my wrist. They ushered me into a little plastic box where I stood for a good 10 minutes before they would check me for something illegal. I finally got scanned by the magic wand by some guy with a really bad temper who, at the point where I accidentally lowered my arms too early, said "Oh...we're not EVEN done yet." Then Chad and I got some food at the John Wayne airport sports bar. My hamburger cost me $8.25. My Seabreeze (the cost of which was not on the menu) cost me $9.00. Yes, I was raped at the airport. The rest of the trip was uneventful.

The day before Thanksgiving...a day of vacation...one of the few that I ever get...I was woken up at 6:00am to go golfing. "Hi, I'm Grant," "Hi Grant!," "I've been masochism free for 17 days." ::apathetic applause:: I'm not really a golfer. This means that I get really frustrated when I do golf because I do it so poorly. Somehow I got through the 18 holes with a 127, which I guess isn't too shabby considering that I hadn't golfed in nearly 2 years. We got our 23 lb. turkey on the way home, then met up with my mom and sister to go cut down our Christmas tree. Yes...you heard me right...we were getting a tree BEFORE Thanksgiving. Soon we'll be getting a tree in March...watch out...Christmas is taking over. After that, my family and I went bowling and then out to eat. I started the day at 6:00am and didn't stop doing stuff till 10:30pm. I went to sleep after that.

Thanksgiving day would have been eventless if it were not for Chad going to visit the gravesite of his x-pug that he had for 13 years. He buried it in the mountains last year and wanted to go visit him. He came home with the skull to put in his bedroom.

Chad and his friends have been going to San Francisco for the past 6 years on Thanksgiving night to go clubbing at 330 (the last wheezing gasp of euro-trash brit-pop in the world). I've gone with him the past 2 times. So we show up for a Smith's tribute night and enter the room full of Thanksgiving ditchers (much like ourselves) and meet up with Chad's other friends. Matt hands us all a Kamikaze and we toast. I drink it because, hey, he paid 50-something dollars for all of them and I wanted to show my thanks. I really shouldn't have because they were SO friggin sweet (and poorly made) that I almost vomited right there. WEE almost vomiting! We then danced the night away to some really good music. 2:00am rolled around and we were ushered out into the parking lot. Chad and I were the only ones not completely sloshed, so we watched as Friend 1 jumped on Friend 2's car while Friend 2 was too drunk to do anything about it. Friend 2 then puked in the corner while Friend 3 tried to un-dent the car from the inside. Friend 1 and 4 then argued with Friend 2 about whether The Matrix: Revolutions was any good or not. This was all very amusing, but I was so dead tired that I just wanted a bed. Even if it were right there in the parking lot.

The next morning Chad and I ate pizza for breakfast and headed to the San Jose airport to fly back to The OC (nobody calls is that...I promise). Amazingly I didn't have any major problems, other than being forced to buy some really crappy chapstick because my lips were chapped and they only had one brand. It tasted like cherry Dimetapp (which is the devil in liquid form) and I paid $4.00 for it. It's now in the garbage.

Oh, and P.S. I'm clairvoyant. I had a dream a couple nights before coming home that my cousin Heather was pregnant. I then went home and one of the first pieces of news that I was given was that my cousin Heather was pregnant. Creeeeepy. In my dream it was a boy and they named it Toby. If those 2 facts are right...I'm gettin' my own TV show.