A Wrinkle in My Parachute

When you are part of an organization, or a group, or a party, or any social scene, you are automatically lumped into feeling the same way and thinking the same things as the rest. Unless you happen to be a psychological egoist or an ethical egoist (how I hate you Ayn Rand), you'll agree that the one does not speak for the many.

My band recently went through a member leaving at a very difficult time. Close to recording, playing 2 important shows, and not to mention leaving no way out of having to pay her portion of the rent, this was obviously a badly timed departure. Feelings were hurt, accusations were made, and the past was re-thought....on both sides.

A recent bulletin on MySpace made by my band took a pedantic approach at resolving the hurt that was felt. Rather than deal with the issue in an ethical manner, or even a manner espoused by the religious beliefs of the rest of the band, low blows were aimed at the departed member of the band. Attacks on her sanity, religion, etc, were made.

I had nothing to do with this.

"But...an eye for an eye" was given as defense of said actions. Too bad that statement was part of a theocracy and used wholly in the case of murder.

No matter how badly I am hurt, and yes, I have been hurt to the point at which it seemed beyond belief, I am willing to forgive and attempt to see the other side. Does this excuse behavior that goes against friendship and ethics? No, of course not. Does this mean that I pretend nothing happened and let it happen again? No, of course not. It does, however, mean that I do my very best to not sink to the level (or lower than the level) that the accused has reportedly sunk to.

Understand...this is not an attack on the rest of my band. This is not a disgruntled stab trying to undermine said recent actions. I am very uncomfortable, though, having anyone think that I had anything to do with that recent bulletin.

I love the rest of my band. They have become like family. I also love the member who recently left. I have made mistakes big enough to leave me friendless. Thank God my friends were able to look past my atrocities and see the real me that lurked behind my deplorable behavior.