Falling Without a 'Chute

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side.
--Hunter S. Thompson

Mind if I ramble?

Of course not, otherwise you wouldn't ever visit this site.

You might remember when I said something like this (though this is abridged):


It amazes me how many bands show up night after night at little coffee shops, clubs, bars, backyards, school events, and anywhere there is a power outlet and pour their hearts into their music and into letting others hear what they love to do despite the fact that nobody shows up.

Everyone I talk to in an unknown band has this same problem: just getting people to hear your music.

If it's so hard, then why do they/we keep doing it?

For the love of doing it.

What's odd, though, is that even with being upset that so few people got to see [any of the bands I have been part of] I would do it all again even if I knew even less people would get to see. It's just worth it.

So I'll keep playing music nobody hears and I'll keep making movies nobody sees and I'll keep writing posts that nobody reads and I'll love every second of it because it's not about recognition or compliments or acceptance or anything other than pure love for doing it.


Well I have been kicked out of the Parachutes. No, I'm not going to go off about the myriad of complaints I have, I'm not going to badmouth anyone in the band, and I'm not going to argue about the correctness of their decision.

Let's just say it's not the happiest of subjects and rather than explain it to each and every one of my friends, I'll allude to the countless angles one could take as to why these events have taken place.

I take certain things very seriously, and being in the band was one of those things. Whether it was telling everyone I could about the band and trying to coerce everyone I knew to come to the shows with promises of hugs and dollar bills, putting countless hours into making posters and doing photo editing, listening and re-listening to songs in order to come up with better bass-lines, skipping work or school or valuable study time in order to give the few fans we had the most memorable show possible, or dreaming of the amazing future the band possibly had, I put my heart and my soul into making music with the Parachutes.

The only thing I can really compare it to is being dumped by a significant other.

I won't go into details...you want those, ask me personally.

It would be safe to say I'm a little lost in all of this.

::
::

In other news, I got some pictures back from the photo shoots with my friend Christina. Here are some of them for your viewing pleasure.









Oh yeah, I almost forgot, anyone want some Parachute paraphernalia? I have a sweaty home-made t-shirt (I couldn't wash it or the spray-paint would come off), a whole bunch of wrist-bands, stickers, posters, and hundreds of pictures and flyers. I guess I won't be needing them anymore.

Seriously, I have the best friends ever



I woke up and my first thought was "Where are my clothes?" I was wearing a girl's shirt and a bathing suit and I couldn't find my pants. All I have to say is thank God it was all caught on film.

I know, I know, 240 is a big number, but click HERE and go through them all or you will miss some unforgettable moments. To all who took part in this glorious event, thanks. Here's to friends!

p.s. Be cool and sign in and leave comments. And feel free to steal the pictures and post them everywhere.

You guys want to know what I've been doing for my Spring Break? Yeah? Do ya?

This:

(Disclaimer: I don't actually expect ANY of you to read this. Just imagine it going on for, oh, 15 pages...and this is most likely B- work)

(P.S. Disclaimer: If you actually DO read it, the "?"s that are surely showing up are actually little infinity signs)

The Problem of Probability Assignments

It is stated that there is an inverse correlation between probability and cost, and that the possibility of minute probability assigned to theism is problematic as well. Neither of these seems problematic. First one must understand correlation and inverse correlation. Correlation is the connection between two variables. Range can vary, but a range of -1 to +1 is often used. The closer the number is to -1 or +1, the stronger the variables are correlated. A positive correlation means that as one variable increases, so does the other. A reverse correlation means that as one variable increases, the other decreases. There are two ways Morris could be attempting to show reverse correlation.

The first, and less likely, is reverse correlation in each expectation formula separately. In other words, (E) (.999 X 1,000) – 0 = 999, and (E) (.001 X ?) – 1,000 = ? will both fall victim to inverse correlation. For the first (E) to be an example of inverse correlation between probability and cost, .999 rising or falling would mean -0 would need to do the exact opposite. In a game of roulette, a high probability would work well with a high cost because the house would not want to lose money. If the probability fell, the cost could fall too in order to make a more difficult win worth betting for. An inverse correlation would not make too much sense because a rising probability with a lowering cost would mean an easier big win for the one betting. With the Wager, however, a rising probability of there being a God would not mean the cost would drop; in fact that would be counter-intuitive to the original argument against the Wager.

The second, and more probable meaning for Morris, is to show an inverse correlation between betting for God and betting against God. This could obtain, depending on how one looks at it. A rising probability of God existing would not mean a lowering of the cost of atheism. The only way to make this inverse correlation work is by applying it strictly to probability. If the probability of God existing goes up, the probability of God not existing goes down. How is this problematic? Consider the game of roulette, if the probability of betting on black increases, the probability of betting on red decreases. This is not an inverse correlation between probability and cost, as Morris said, but simply an inverse between the probabilities of two opposing bets, which happens in most every situation.

The other problem Morris tries to solve is the concern about the “disparity between the probabilities of theism and atheism.” In other words, according to Morris, betting on theism if it has only a one in a trillion chance of being probable does not seem rational. Following Pascal’s own Wager, however, if the infinite payoff variable is not a problem, as has been shown, the expectation will still be infinity even if the probability is one in a trillion; and the rational gambler will bet on the higher expectation. If one could make a bet in roulette with a one in a trillion probability, but the payoff was infinite happiness (versus a higher probability, but only a finite amount of happiness), rationality points one towards betting on the higher expectation.


somebody kill me

The other day, a chance away, I chose to give up such a search.

There was this boy. He was no ordinary boy. No, not at all. If anything, no boy had ever been like him in ALL of existence. "Why," you might ask, "why was this boy so special?" To tell you that, dear reader, you will have to embark on a strange tale with me. To learn the secret of the boy, you will have to give up everything you believe, and wait till the very end. The day before the day before a thousand years ago a boy was born with half a heart, but lived despite his failing life. A day upon a day upon some 23 years of life, a boy with only half a heart would die...that's quite for sure. He grew and soon was greeted with his birthday number 23. A spark, a thought went off and something strange came to his sleeping mind. A thought, a realization still, a memory of past. He had the other half a heart, but lost the part he had. At first a fit, a perfect fit, but things just change...that's what they say. A piece of his, a piece of hers, were torn, a battlewound of sorts. He kept her part, and she kept his, vindic.tion or love unrequi.ed. So now a missing piec. was filled, but part of hi. was gone. Anothe. match, though slightly lesse., but only in one way. A piece of his was taken now and couldn't fill h.r empty space. That tin. little.lacking piece is.all o.e nee.s to find . crack. A break and crumble and m.re parts m.ssing. A pie.e .f his and piece of .ers wer..kept for .isbelief or.t.ue love los.. .h.t's one gr.at my.tery, an. no one knows. .o thro.gh a myri.d o. doubt rid.en guise a pi.ce he.e a piece the.e they.we.e sm.ll...didn't ma.ter. O.e day he g.ew .p an.d .ou.d hims.lf.on . day whe. h.s 23r. year wa. u.on him s..e w.y.. .e o.ked i. t.e mirr.r and he..aw h.lf a.hea.t. A h.ar..no..ew.a. ....ame an. .ra..s ru.n.. .h.o..h. The ....c.s a.l p.ec...h. c.l.ec.ed ..o. .he.,...iec.s al. t...., t... .o.. .... a... .. ..d ..............s.........................

Choose Your Own Adventure!

Who can guess what's really going on here?

Hey Everyone...

Go read the Parachutes FIRST INTERNET REVIEW!

In other news...I'll write more later.

I re-did my guestbook.

Go sign it.

...

Today I got three papers back.

All three pretty much said I suck at writing.

Nobody would be dissapointed if I just up and quit grad school, would they?

In other news:



EDIT: This beautiful photography comes courtasy of Christina!

Thar Be Some Changes Here

Caution: Construction



EDIT

ok ok, so after hours of fooling around (not THAT kind) I figured out most of this stuff. I still don't know why there are no numbers attached to how many comments I have. Ugh. But the rest of the site is well under way. Suggestions welcome.

Why Christina Loves Her Friends:

Another Thing the Internet Sucks At...

I found this site called My Heritage at which you can upload a picture and it's supposed to give you the celebrities that you closest resemble. I tried a variety of pictures because, like most scientific method you need more than one test case. If this was to work, I would need more than one common thread through the pictures. Here are the results. The first picture is the one I uploaded, the next ones are the celebrities the site told me I looked most like from highest percentage to lowest:

me, Natalie Portman, Jan Ulrich, Jacques Villeneuve




me, Jaco Pastorius, Guy Pearce, Rob Lowe




me, Ethan Hawke, Mark Ruffalo




me, Nick Nolte, Keira Knightly




me, Avi Nimni, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Neil Armstrong




me, Meg Ryan, Kim Basinger, George Harrison




me, Hugo Weaving, Rose McGowan, Wayne Rooney




me, Heidi Klum, Shahid Kapoor, Ethan Hawke




me, Mark Ruffalo




me, Isabella Rossellini, Julianne Moore, Leonardo DiCaprio




me, Ethan Hawke, Ian Anderson



End results: We've got Ethan Hawke 3 times, and Mark Ruffalo 2 times. I think we can conclude that this site is a piece of junk. If I looked like Ethan Hawke I would have a relentless torrent of girls after me. And I'm really not sure I WANT to look like Mark Ruffalo. If fact, the only person I have ever been mistaken for is Chad Murray:


One other disturbing trend the site tried to tell me is that my dad looks like Alfred Kinsey. Wouldn't that be crazy if he really was and just didn't tell anybody?

Alright, it's time for you guys to decide if I actually look ANYthing like ANY of these people or if I should write the site and tell them that their facial recognition system really sucks.

someone make me not lonely

Dear God......

But...nobody makes out in it!

I finally got this thing online. I went through many a trial and a few tribulations as well trying to figure out a format and compression that didn't throw the sound off from the video making it look like a badly synced Japanese godzilla film.

So for all you out there who have yet to see this, or who need a re-fresher, enjoy:

(technical disclaimer: sorry, it's still pretty bad quality)





...also...remember the story of me proposing over a picture message? I finally got ahold of the picture: