The Disenchantment of the Happiest Place on Earth
(or Consumerism Bites the Dust)

My family came to visit my brother and I for his birthday which, subsequently, is the day before July 4th. This means that I was obligated to go to Disneyland to watch the huge, amazing, grandiose fireworks show for the 4th. Naomi and I moseyed on over to the park (the word mosey should be used more often...along with cheeky) and bought us some $50 tickets. Who in their right mind spends $50 to go to an amusement park for one day? That's like a whole days work for me just to go to Disneyland. Anyway. After eating at Naples (the restaurant, not the city...oh, and the former owner, er, employer of Shauna...the same Shauna who, on the last post, so eloquently told off Silus The Idiot) we went to find a seat for the much talked about show. I should keep a small timeline going here. It was about 8:50 now...1 hour and 45 minutes before the show. There were already a couple thousand people waiting for the show. After evading Mr. Toads Wild Ride, my family, Naomi, and I went to find a seat. There was a perfect spot in front of the castle with no trees blocking, so we decided to sit. The time was 9:30, 45 minutes before the show. We sat. Then we sat. Then, for a change, we sat some more. Finally, after fending off some crowd induced claustrophobia, at 10:15, the show began. This is where it gets funny. The first firework goes off in all its colorful brilliance...and we couldn't see it. You see, the castle was blocking the fireworks. I know you want to tell me that we were stupid for sitting in front of the castle, but that is where we were led, like cattle, by the workers with the flashlights. As the explosions continued, we were able to see about half of the show. The other half we heard quite clearly and were able to imagine what it might have looked like. Which is, ya know, probably not what everyone paid $50 to do. At 10:21, exactly 6 minutes later, there seemed to be a pause in the show. We all sat patiently, waiting for the next volley and then then amazing finale. Then we waited some more. Words slowly began to drift over the crowd....."Is that it?" "Was that the WHOLE show?" "Wait...is it over?" After another minute we realized that Disneyland had played a giant joke on us. They had made us believe that we were going to see a great show and low and behold, they put us through 6 minutes of pathetic fireworks, most of which was blocked, and then told us that was it. I still say we should have rioted.

I was going to tell a side story, but I'm really tired and just rambled must longer than I planned. Basically, I got $150 shoes for $80......at the mall. Yeah...who knew you could barter at the mall? Not me. Maybe I just participated in something very illegal, but I like to think that it's good karma for me being such a good person.....even though I don't believe in karma. Ah screw it, I don't care how it happened, I just like my new shoes.