caution labels are fun. but what i think would be more fun is taking those labels and putting them on clothing articles like shirts. here are the results of my idea from things i can find around the room...just imagine a person wearing one of these:
-"CAUTION: Keep away from small children, may cling to nose and mouth and prevent breathing"
-"CAUTION: Keep away from fire or flame. Keep away from children. Do not swallow or inhale."
-"WARNING: Not defined as flammable...however can be ignited under certain circumstances.
-"CAUTION: Intentional misuse by inhaling contents may be fatal."
-"WARNING: To reduce the possibility of fire do not expose to rain or moisture."
-"CAUTION: Contents under pressure."
-"IMPORTANT: May permenantly stain clothing or furniture."
-"IMPORTANT: After use, dispose of in a refuse container."
and now that i think about it...it's really really frightening that so many things merely in my immediate vacinity could kill me. i'm going to hide now.
Thursday, March 21, 2002
Wednesday, March 20, 2002
way past midnight and I watch as the name disappears and a warm tear wells up in my eye and slowly makes its decent curving around my cheek, sliding along the side of my nose, till it touches the crease of my mouth and seeps through my lips. If tears are salty…why don’t they hurt your eyes like saltwater does? Unless it’s a different amount of salt…or maybe…never mind…pointless train of thought. Pointless frame of mind. Pointless attempt to…something.
the world is asleep at 1:00am
*Good points of the day:
--I found my pocket watch which has been lost for weeks
--I had no class
--I got to play my bongos…and even got a compliment or two
--I wasn’t insanely tired all day, like I normally am
*Bad points of the day:
--My watch is broken
--I didn’t have class so I procrastinated and did almost nothing
--I burst my blister on my finger playing bongos
--I’m not insanely tired and now it’s almost two in the morning
the world is asleep at 2:00am
The fire alarm, or some kind of alarm for the dorm across from mine starts blaring at 2:10am and goes for at least 5 minutes…so loud it must have woken everybody up within a mile radius. I wonder if someone was smoking inside. Or maybe a malicious insomniac decided that if they could not sleep…then nobody should sleep…and all that would take is a tug on the fire alarm. Or maybe there is a short in the wiring which would explain why this alarm has been going off consistently for the last couple days. Or maybe…hmm…another pointless train of thought. Another pointless frame of mind. Another pointless attempt to…who knows.
the world is asleep at 3:00am…and I am not
the world is asleep at 1:00am
*Good points of the day:
--I found my pocket watch which has been lost for weeks
--I had no class
--I got to play my bongos…and even got a compliment or two
--I wasn’t insanely tired all day, like I normally am
*Bad points of the day:
--My watch is broken
--I didn’t have class so I procrastinated and did almost nothing
--I burst my blister on my finger playing bongos
--I’m not insanely tired and now it’s almost two in the morning
the world is asleep at 2:00am
The fire alarm, or some kind of alarm for the dorm across from mine starts blaring at 2:10am and goes for at least 5 minutes…so loud it must have woken everybody up within a mile radius. I wonder if someone was smoking inside. Or maybe a malicious insomniac decided that if they could not sleep…then nobody should sleep…and all that would take is a tug on the fire alarm. Or maybe there is a short in the wiring which would explain why this alarm has been going off consistently for the last couple days. Or maybe…hmm…another pointless train of thought. Another pointless frame of mind. Another pointless attempt to…who knows.
the world is asleep at 3:00am…and I am not
Sunday, March 17, 2002
"I want to dream," I say as I lay my head on the pillow and close my eyes to enter a world so different than the world we live in. A world of dreams. The first episode of REM sleep occurs fairly regularly 80-90 minutes after falling asleep. This time is often shortened in depression. So that's why. But back to my world: smiles. laughter. happiness. Then I laugh at my pre-conceived Hallmark idealistic world. I open my eyes. Unable to sleep again. In the dark, the pineal gland in the brain secretes a hormone called melatonin, which is thought to induce sleep. I wonder if you can buy melatonin. I sit up and eat another Hostess cupcake and wonder what exactly it is I am eating, but throw the wrapper away rather than disgust myself with INGREDIENTS: sugar, enriched bleached wheat flour, water, corn syrup, animal shortening, cottonseed, canola oil, beef fat, cocoa processed with alkali, cellulose gum, gelatin, agar, dextrose, guar gum, propylene glycol, soy lecithin, glycerine, wheat gluten, sorbic acid, monocalcium phosphate, sodium phosphate. I take a large swallow from my water bottle that probably still contains dormant germs from when I housed mononucleosis, caused by the Epstein-Barr virus. I want attention. But it's 4:00am, and outside of waking up my roommates or calling an escort service and asking how much it costs just to talk, I'm out of luck. I squint at my alarm clock...wishing I didn't have to wear my -4.75 corrective contact lenses just to see the world like everyone else sees it. But maybe this is a blessing rather than a curse? I see the world as many people do not. Distorted. "Wait," I think to myself, "everyone does see the world distorted...you can't help but see the world distorted...that's just how it is...distorted." I just see it more so. I sit down at my computer and put on my glasses with their outdated prescription and check my buddy list to see who is on to entertain me. I look under each group, "Friends", "Wannabe Friends", "Random People", and "Love of My Life." All away. I stare intently at the group "Love of My Life" with its one member, as if staring will make her come online magically. I glance around my desk and think, "If I wasn't here. . .and somebody I didn't know came into my room. . .would he or she have an accurate understanding of who I am merely from what I own?" Doubtful. An empty Hostess cupcake container, a plastic crow on top of my monitor, a lamp shaped like a film camera, anti-corporate posters on the wall, a corkboard full of pariphanalia from my life-so-far at college, pictures of me. . .every one with Sarah present. . .every one with smiles and great memories attached, three Chuck Palahniuk books...Invisible Monsters with a book marker sticking out, my life. My life. My life. My life? I am now a permenant resident of change. I will change rooms I live in for the next four years. I will change apartments, condos, and flats for who knows how many years after. I will most likely even change houses, since most families move at least once in their tenure here on earth. But some things stay the same. Hostess will continue to make products with a 7 year shelf-life. Situational ethics will continue to be the most popular lifestyle. . .despite what people say they believe. I will continue to believe my idealistic views of love. . .and will continue to do all I can to make my dreams come true.
"Dream lofty dreams, as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you one day shall be: your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil."
--James Allen
"Dream lofty dreams, as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you one day shall be: your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil."
--James Allen
Thursday, March 14, 2002
I rarely have weird dreams. At least lately my dreams have consisted of mundane activities such as eating, going to class, and fending off my roommates as they try to beat me senseless with my bass guitar. But this is not always the case...last night was proof of that:
I was walking through a park and passing by a myriad of little kids playing normal park games with my two friends...who happened to be the two guys from Penny Arcade. I picked up a package of dehydrated oatmeal (isn't oatmeal already dehydrated?), which of course also happened to be explosive. We walked over to a more wooded area where a group had gathered to play a little baseball. Only this wasn't your normal game of baseball...it was more similar to a New York mob passing out punishment to someone who defied 'the family.' We were given baseball mits and told to be ready to catch. The 'batter' heald a machette and was ready to hack off a limb of the punishee and we were expected to try and catch the liberated body part. The guy next to me kept yelling, "Hey boss! What's the play?" The boss kept yelling back, "Just catch...that's ALL." The guy next to me didn't seem to understand the simple instructions so I tried to help by saying, "Hey...just catch the freaking limb...that's all." Soon enough I heard a *WHACK* and saw a severed finger (or something similar) sailing through the air in my general direction. Instinct kept me from wanting to catch a freshly severed apendage so I let one of my Penny Arcade friends catch it...bare handed. He freaked out after fielding the extremity, dropped it, and we all ran as fast as we could since of course we were being chased by some unseen monster. It was now nighttime and we found a cubicle and desk set up in the middle of the park...so we hid behind it...but only two of us could fit in the cubicle...so we left the other guy outside. I decided to pet the bunny rabbit that lived in the magical park cubicle, but it kept shedding on me so I stopped. Soon we heard the evil approaching and all quieted down. A shadow was cast upon the wall of the monster which looked oddly like a Ringwraithe from Lord of the Rings. It grabbed the guy we left outside and ate him. I hid behind the bunny...but the monster (who now looked more like Godzilla) grabbed me and the remaining living friend...one in each hand. It placed chains around my friend and started to do the same to me when I had a sudden epiphany...THE EXPLODING OATMEAL!!! I quickly pulled it out and heard my friend scream, "If you EVER use the oatmeal...do it NOW!!!" I tore into it with my teeth and hands and thought to myself, "I sure hope you don't have to add water." I finally got it open and saw...dehydrated oatmeal...nothing more. I threw it as hard as I could into the monster's mouth and he stopped suddenly, tilted his head to the side, and said, "Mmmmmm." I then cursed myself for not having more oatmeal on me because then maybe I could fill him up with oatmeal instead of letting him fill up on human bodies. Then Ed woke me up.
I wonder if this dream can be interpreted to tell all about my inner psyche and dreams, hopes, and desires. Or maybe it's just because I ate something I shouldn't have right before I went to sleep.
-
-
-
-
I feel sick
I was walking through a park and passing by a myriad of little kids playing normal park games with my two friends...who happened to be the two guys from Penny Arcade. I picked up a package of dehydrated oatmeal (isn't oatmeal already dehydrated?), which of course also happened to be explosive. We walked over to a more wooded area where a group had gathered to play a little baseball. Only this wasn't your normal game of baseball...it was more similar to a New York mob passing out punishment to someone who defied 'the family.' We were given baseball mits and told to be ready to catch. The 'batter' heald a machette and was ready to hack off a limb of the punishee and we were expected to try and catch the liberated body part. The guy next to me kept yelling, "Hey boss! What's the play?" The boss kept yelling back, "Just catch...that's ALL." The guy next to me didn't seem to understand the simple instructions so I tried to help by saying, "Hey...just catch the freaking limb...that's all." Soon enough I heard a *WHACK* and saw a severed finger (or something similar) sailing through the air in my general direction. Instinct kept me from wanting to catch a freshly severed apendage so I let one of my Penny Arcade friends catch it...bare handed. He freaked out after fielding the extremity, dropped it, and we all ran as fast as we could since of course we were being chased by some unseen monster. It was now nighttime and we found a cubicle and desk set up in the middle of the park...so we hid behind it...but only two of us could fit in the cubicle...so we left the other guy outside. I decided to pet the bunny rabbit that lived in the magical park cubicle, but it kept shedding on me so I stopped. Soon we heard the evil approaching and all quieted down. A shadow was cast upon the wall of the monster which looked oddly like a Ringwraithe from Lord of the Rings. It grabbed the guy we left outside and ate him. I hid behind the bunny...but the monster (who now looked more like Godzilla) grabbed me and the remaining living friend...one in each hand. It placed chains around my friend and started to do the same to me when I had a sudden epiphany...THE EXPLODING OATMEAL!!! I quickly pulled it out and heard my friend scream, "If you EVER use the oatmeal...do it NOW!!!" I tore into it with my teeth and hands and thought to myself, "I sure hope you don't have to add water." I finally got it open and saw...dehydrated oatmeal...nothing more. I threw it as hard as I could into the monster's mouth and he stopped suddenly, tilted his head to the side, and said, "Mmmmmm." I then cursed myself for not having more oatmeal on me because then maybe I could fill him up with oatmeal instead of letting him fill up on human bodies. Then Ed woke me up.
I wonder if this dream can be interpreted to tell all about my inner psyche and dreams, hopes, and desires. Or maybe it's just because I ate something I shouldn't have right before I went to sleep.
-
-
-
-
I feel sick
Wednesday, March 13, 2002
I have this strange burning sensation in my right eye that feels oddly similar to brief yet excrutiating pain caused by eating a whole lotta wasabi on sushi. Except this is coming in waves. PAIN...relief...PAIN...relief...PAIN...you get the idea. Wait...milk helps with spicy stuff doesn't it? It's a base and neutralizes the burning. Would it be bad to pour milk in my eye?
We were drawing another model in my lifedrawing class and she was telling us what she does besides pose for art classes. It seems that whenever you see busts or drawings from Disney that were drawn from a live model...they used this lady for her clavicles. She is a clavicle model. Um...since when is there such thing as a clavicle model? And what in the world would you tell people your job is?!? "Disney people draw my clavicles."
It was bad enough when Chapman was advertising for the Condom Olympics...but now we got a St. Patrick's Day flyer with even more disturbing news on it for:
--"Strip Aerobics...Come strut your stuff and get good exercise at the same time...Who knows, you may even see your RA joining in on the stripping fun!"
--"Ever wanted to wrestle in jello???"
--"Are you curious about how oatmeal feels between your toes??"
--"Super Sloppy is coming soon!! Look for more info to come!"
That last one is especially disturbing to me. I think I would like to be gone from school when these events take place. *shudder*
"Anybody can look at a pretty girl and see a pretty girl. An artist can look at a pretty girl and see the old woman she will become. A better artist can look at an old woman and see the pretty girl that she used to be. But a great artist--a master--can look at an old woman, protray her exactly as she is. . .and force the viewer to see the pretty girl she used to be. . .and more than that, he can make anyone with the sensitivity of an armadillo...see that this lovely young girl is still alive, not old and ugly at all, but simply prisoned inside her ruined body."
-Robert Heinlein
We were drawing another model in my lifedrawing class and she was telling us what she does besides pose for art classes. It seems that whenever you see busts or drawings from Disney that were drawn from a live model...they used this lady for her clavicles. She is a clavicle model. Um...since when is there such thing as a clavicle model? And what in the world would you tell people your job is?!? "Disney people draw my clavicles."
It was bad enough when Chapman was advertising for the Condom Olympics...but now we got a St. Patrick's Day flyer with even more disturbing news on it for:
--"Strip Aerobics...Come strut your stuff and get good exercise at the same time...Who knows, you may even see your RA joining in on the stripping fun!"
--"Ever wanted to wrestle in jello???"
--"Are you curious about how oatmeal feels between your toes??"
--"Super Sloppy is coming soon!! Look for more info to come!"
That last one is especially disturbing to me. I think I would like to be gone from school when these events take place. *shudder*
"Anybody can look at a pretty girl and see a pretty girl. An artist can look at a pretty girl and see the old woman she will become. A better artist can look at an old woman and see the pretty girl that she used to be. But a great artist--a master--can look at an old woman, protray her exactly as she is. . .and force the viewer to see the pretty girl she used to be. . .and more than that, he can make anyone with the sensitivity of an armadillo...see that this lovely young girl is still alive, not old and ugly at all, but simply prisoned inside her ruined body."
-Robert Heinlein
bad idea-----> driving around at night when the temperature is pretty friggin low with the top down on my car and just a t-shirt on
worse idea--> leaving my primo parking space during the mad rush when everyone and their mother is trying to find parking because the city of Orange has this obsessive compulsive need to clean the streets every Wednesday and all the cars must be moved
worst idea--> eating an ultimate cheeseburger from Jack In the Box at 12:15am...ugh...I feel like crap
but I think the worst idea of all is having an event entitled "Condom Olympics" at which one can get "beer and pretzels" sponsored by Chapman University.
worse idea--> leaving my primo parking space during the mad rush when everyone and their mother is trying to find parking because the city of Orange has this obsessive compulsive need to clean the streets every Wednesday and all the cars must be moved
worst idea--> eating an ultimate cheeseburger from Jack In the Box at 12:15am...ugh...I feel like crap
but I think the worst idea of all is having an event entitled "Condom Olympics" at which one can get "beer and pretzels" sponsored by Chapman University.
Monday, March 11, 2002
RIGHT NOW I'M:
---listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers (Flea ROCKS!!!)
---feeling...utterly exhausted
First things first...I completely revamped my art section...so go there so my work is not in vein. Yeah, I know it's not that great looking, but I don't want to spend my entire life on something like a website. I have more important things to do...like stress out over schoolwork.
I went home this last weekend to San Jose, home sweet home. It was great. But sadly enough my entire family deserted me. My brother Chad was also home from LA, but spent the whole time at his friend's wedding and wedding activities. My sister Ashley was at a dance competition the whole weekend kicking some serious butt showing all those wannabes how to really dance. My older sister...well...we won't go there...she just wasn't home. My mom was with Ashley most of the time, and my dad was around. So I came home but very few people were there for me to visit with. I DID get some time to visit with our new dog Tiger Lilly. I would like to point out at this time that my family is now deserving of the title "criminal." You see...in California you can only have three dogs before you have to have a kennel liscence. Well, we have not 3, not 4, but 5 dogs. Gosh I'm glad I don't live there anymore. But this is the cutest little dog ever. It's a 1.5 pound long haired chihuahua...I swear you think you will crush it with a simple petting. Other than that...I spent all my time with Sarah who is a convienant 10 minutes away when I am at home. We hung out, watched movies (now I've seen two in the Kevin Smith series...only Dogma, Chasing Amy, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back left to go), and caught up a little. It was quite nice to say the least.
Sadly I had to leave at the end of the weekend, so I said goodbye to Sarah as we approached the security line. I made it through the line with no embarassing metal detector checks that involve taking off my belt and pulling the front of my pants down. As I walked through the airport I dodged the scurrying hoards plastered in American flag embroidered shirts and pro-America slogans showing proudly as if they were avenging those from 9-11 and giving all terrorists everywhere a swift kick you know where by showing other Americans who were showing other Americans who were showing other Americans who were showing other Americans that they are proud to be an American. I watched a lady with a cell phone contraption latched on her head that made her look more like an air-traffic controller with a case of skitzophrenia than an ingenuitive individual talk and laugh outloud to a seemingly invisible friend pass by countless little girls just coming from a dance competition with only one thought in their heads, "I hope the judges gave us a good score." I sat on the plane and listened as two guys hit on three or four girls sitting across from them the entire flight, never stopping with the corny jokes, the cheesy lines, the blatent come-ons, and all in some attempt to get them to go to a bar with them to get drunk after getting off the plane... and I'm sure their intent was not just to give away a few free drinks.
Gosh I love people watching.
_________________________________
It's time for RANDOME STUFF!!! YAY!!!
_________________________________
--Why don't they sell more stuff like THIS?
--I don't know about you, but Richard Simmons could make me lose weight. I swear I would run as fast as I could just to get away from him.
--But I would probably run even faster from a band member of Gwar.
Yes...I know I'm not a woman...but I still had to see which rock chick I would be.
Which Rock Chick Are You?
I feel as if I just wasted a WHOLE bunch of time by updating. I mean...I could have done so many other things instead. Sure I wouldn't have...but I could have. And that's the point. So I will go now and grieve my lost time by dressing in all black and being anti-social. Oh wait...I already DO dress in all black and I already AM anti-social. Dang...what do I do if I really need to morn for something? Nobody would know. This is a problem better solved another time. Now it's time to do something productive (or counter-productice...it all depends on how you look at it). Adios for now.
---listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers (Flea ROCKS!!!)
---feeling...utterly exhausted
First things first...I completely revamped my art section...so go there so my work is not in vein. Yeah, I know it's not that great looking, but I don't want to spend my entire life on something like a website. I have more important things to do...like stress out over schoolwork.
I went home this last weekend to San Jose, home sweet home. It was great. But sadly enough my entire family deserted me. My brother Chad was also home from LA, but spent the whole time at his friend's wedding and wedding activities. My sister Ashley was at a dance competition the whole weekend kicking some serious butt showing all those wannabes how to really dance. My older sister...well...we won't go there...she just wasn't home. My mom was with Ashley most of the time, and my dad was around. So I came home but very few people were there for me to visit with. I DID get some time to visit with our new dog Tiger Lilly. I would like to point out at this time that my family is now deserving of the title "criminal." You see...in California you can only have three dogs before you have to have a kennel liscence. Well, we have not 3, not 4, but 5 dogs. Gosh I'm glad I don't live there anymore. But this is the cutest little dog ever. It's a 1.5 pound long haired chihuahua...I swear you think you will crush it with a simple petting. Other than that...I spent all my time with Sarah who is a convienant 10 minutes away when I am at home. We hung out, watched movies (now I've seen two in the Kevin Smith series...only Dogma, Chasing Amy, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back left to go), and caught up a little. It was quite nice to say the least.
Sadly I had to leave at the end of the weekend, so I said goodbye to Sarah as we approached the security line. I made it through the line with no embarassing metal detector checks that involve taking off my belt and pulling the front of my pants down. As I walked through the airport I dodged the scurrying hoards plastered in American flag embroidered shirts and pro-America slogans showing proudly as if they were avenging those from 9-11 and giving all terrorists everywhere a swift kick you know where by showing other Americans who were showing other Americans who were showing other Americans who were showing other Americans that they are proud to be an American. I watched a lady with a cell phone contraption latched on her head that made her look more like an air-traffic controller with a case of skitzophrenia than an ingenuitive individual talk and laugh outloud to a seemingly invisible friend pass by countless little girls just coming from a dance competition with only one thought in their heads, "I hope the judges gave us a good score." I sat on the plane and listened as two guys hit on three or four girls sitting across from them the entire flight, never stopping with the corny jokes, the cheesy lines, the blatent come-ons, and all in some attempt to get them to go to a bar with them to get drunk after getting off the plane... and I'm sure their intent was not just to give away a few free drinks.
Gosh I love people watching.
_________________________________
It's time for RANDOME STUFF!!! YAY!!!
_________________________________
--Why don't they sell more stuff like THIS?
--I don't know about you, but Richard Simmons could make me lose weight. I swear I would run as fast as I could just to get away from him.
--But I would probably run even faster from a band member of Gwar.
Yes...I know I'm not a woman...but I still had to see which rock chick I would be.
Which Rock Chick Are You?
I feel as if I just wasted a WHOLE bunch of time by updating. I mean...I could have done so many other things instead. Sure I wouldn't have...but I could have. And that's the point. So I will go now and grieve my lost time by dressing in all black and being anti-social. Oh wait...I already DO dress in all black and I already AM anti-social. Dang...what do I do if I really need to morn for something? Nobody would know. This is a problem better solved another time. Now it's time to do something productive (or counter-productice...it all depends on how you look at it). Adios for now.
Sunday, March 10, 2002
Thursday, March 07, 2002
--Some day I will be old enough to realize I was ignorant when I thought I was smartest.
-Benjamin Disraeli
--Some day I will be old enough to realize how much I took for granted.
-Aldous Huxley
--Some day I will be old enough to give good advice, because I'll be too old to set a bad example.
-Francois de La Rochefoucauld
--Some day I will be old enough to realize that age does not always bring wisdom.
-H. L. Mencken
--Some day I will be old enough to realize the only thing that comes without effort is getting old.
-Gloria Pitzer
--Some day I will be old enough to love more fully.
-Sophocles
--Some day I will be old enough to have others seek what I sought in life.
-Basho
--Some day I will be old enough to cherish the happy moments in life more.
-Christopher Morley
--Some day [I] will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.
-C.S. Lewis
--Or live them.
-Sarah Faulkner
go read Kevin's entry on love (or click on the link for his page...over there on the left)...it's good stuff...Kevin is not only a good friend but a pretty smart guy...I agree with him wholly
-Benjamin Disraeli
--Some day I will be old enough to realize how much I took for granted.
-Aldous Huxley
--Some day I will be old enough to give good advice, because I'll be too old to set a bad example.
-Francois de La Rochefoucauld
--Some day I will be old enough to realize that age does not always bring wisdom.
-H. L. Mencken
--Some day I will be old enough to realize the only thing that comes without effort is getting old.
-Gloria Pitzer
--Some day I will be old enough to love more fully.
-Sophocles
--Some day I will be old enough to have others seek what I sought in life.
-Basho
--Some day I will be old enough to cherish the happy moments in life more.
-Christopher Morley
--Some day [I] will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.
-C.S. Lewis
--Or live them.
-Sarah Faulkner
go read Kevin's entry on love (or click on the link for his page...over there on the left)...it's good stuff...Kevin is not only a good friend but a pretty smart guy...I agree with him wholly
Wednesday, March 06, 2002
Take the What Johnny the Homicidal Maniac character are you? quiz!
oh yeah...I put up some new little doodles...go to the art page...link on the bottom...time to go...AHHHHHH!!!!!!
Tuesday, March 05, 2002
In my world of blindness I squint to see reality more clearly but it doesn't help...I'm too far gone. Ghostly figures float by with elongated necks, softball sized heads, and glowing halos surrounding them. I wave my hand an inch from my eyes and see clearly every pore, every hair, every crease. Yet distortion plegues all that surrounds me. So I put my contacts back on.
I was driving by Walgreens the other day (correction...when I talked about the Valentine's Hamsters the other day I meant it was at Walgreens) and I have decided that someone who works for them is trying to be funny or something. The giant sign outside that they use to advertise now says, "Generic Body Solution...$19.95" Um...what?
*One Perk Of ________
--Knowing Chad: I get free food from Cynthias (shhh...don't tell the boss)
--Knowing Ed: I get to be seen hanging out with a guy with a fro...how cool is that?
--Knowing Aaron: He attracts the ants when they attack...so they don't attack me.
--Knowing Sarah: I get to hear the greatest stories of drunk people from her college acting like idiots
--Being in college: If someone points a gun to my head and says, "Don't sleep or die," I'll have no problem complying
--Being me: I can get by on very minimal amounts of food (a couple chips a day and I'm fine)
So in Spanish we were writing out sentences to learn some verb tense that I already forgot and the teacher looked at my sentences and saw my first sentence was supposed to say, "I knew her when I was young." I guess that "knew" in the tense we were using had a more Biblical meaning...therefore I had accidentally written, "I had sex with her when I was young." She asked me to change it.
It's time to sleep. Here's a conversation between me and sleep:
Grant: "Can I go to bed now?"
Sleep: "No...I hate you."
So you see...this makes getting any rest difficult.
I wish sleep was my friend.
I like friends.
Night.
I was driving by Walgreens the other day (correction...when I talked about the Valentine's Hamsters the other day I meant it was at Walgreens) and I have decided that someone who works for them is trying to be funny or something. The giant sign outside that they use to advertise now says, "Generic Body Solution...$19.95" Um...what?
*One Perk Of ________
--Knowing Chad: I get free food from Cynthias (shhh...don't tell the boss)
--Knowing Ed: I get to be seen hanging out with a guy with a fro...how cool is that?
--Knowing Aaron: He attracts the ants when they attack...so they don't attack me.
--Knowing Sarah: I get to hear the greatest stories of drunk people from her college acting like idiots
--Being in college: If someone points a gun to my head and says, "Don't sleep or die," I'll have no problem complying
--Being me: I can get by on very minimal amounts of food (a couple chips a day and I'm fine)
So in Spanish we were writing out sentences to learn some verb tense that I already forgot and the teacher looked at my sentences and saw my first sentence was supposed to say, "I knew her when I was young." I guess that "knew" in the tense we were using had a more Biblical meaning...therefore I had accidentally written, "I had sex with her when I was young." She asked me to change it.
It's time to sleep. Here's a conversation between me and sleep:
Grant: "Can I go to bed now?"
Sleep: "No...I hate you."
So you see...this makes getting any rest difficult.
I wish sleep was my friend.
I like friends.
Night.
Sunday, March 03, 2002
Yeah...it's been a while. But I assure you all that I did not cover my body in tattoos and join the circus sideshow (though that has always been an ambition of mine), but was merely detained by insane amounts of work and very important secret missions that nobody can know anything about (gosh...just saying that makes me SO much cooler doesn't it?) If I haven't forgotten how, I will be updating again regularly due to large amounts of complaints...ok...so there were only 2...but that is large in my book. Right now, this is all you get because the secret missions detracted from my work time...meaning I have even more insane amounts of work to do. Sigh~the life of a cool person is tiring isn't it? (heh...can you tell I'm trying to boost my self-esteem? No...really...I know I'm not cool...I just like to play pretend) So get your kicks from this short entry and you will be reading more soon enough, as soon as my life returns to normal. Hmmm...no wait...if I wait till my life is 'normal' I will never be updating. How bout I just wait till my life calms down a tad bit. Deal? Deal. Catch you on the flip side (um....what the heck does that mean? I never use that phrase...something is wrong with me), bye for now.
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