In my world of blindness I squint to see reality more clearly but it doesn't help...I'm too far gone. Ghostly figures float by with elongated necks, softball sized heads, and glowing halos surrounding them. I wave my hand an inch from my eyes and see clearly every pore, every hair, every crease. Yet distortion plegues all that surrounds me. So I put my contacts back on.

I was driving by Walgreens the other day (correction...when I talked about the Valentine's Hamsters the other day I meant it was at Walgreens) and I have decided that someone who works for them is trying to be funny or something. The giant sign outside that they use to advertise now says, "Generic Body Solution...$19.95" Um...what?

*One Perk Of ________

--Knowing Chad: I get free food from Cynthias (shhh...don't tell the boss)
--Knowing Ed: I get to be seen hanging out with a guy with a fro...how cool is that?
--Knowing Aaron: He attracts the ants when they attack...so they don't attack me.
--Knowing Sarah: I get to hear the greatest stories of drunk people from her college acting like idiots
--Being in college: If someone points a gun to my head and says, "Don't sleep or die," I'll have no problem complying
--Being me: I can get by on very minimal amounts of food (a couple chips a day and I'm fine)

So in Spanish we were writing out sentences to learn some verb tense that I already forgot and the teacher looked at my sentences and saw my first sentence was supposed to say, "I knew her when I was young." I guess that "knew" in the tense we were using had a more Biblical meaning...therefore I had accidentally written, "I had sex with her when I was young." She asked me to change it.

It's time to sleep. Here's a conversation between me and sleep:

Grant: "Can I go to bed now?"
Sleep: "No...I hate you."

So you see...this makes getting any rest difficult.

I wish sleep was my friend.

I like friends.

Night.