So there you are. Drinking a bloody mary with no vodka because it's healthy, or maybe because you have no Stoli or Kettle One left and you won't lower yourself to drinking vodka that comes from a plastic bottle. But you do have plenty of pepper, so you make sure to add a more than necessary amount. Oh, and you're out of celery so you find some other green vegetable like a cucumber and try and make the drink look presentable. Only it's hard to look presentable yourself when you keep having to chew your drink because you only have a fresh pepper grinder so you end up gnawing on little chunks of pepper and then trying not to cringe as the wave of spice clears your already cleared sinuses.

You sit back and realize...this is my life. This is what I have amounted to. This will probably consume the next eight or nine or ten years of my life until one day I will look back and realize that my day to day routine has been nothing more than settling for mediocrity, dealing with problems by not dealing with them, and complaining that there are no solutions even though I haven't tried even one to its fullest.

So you sit back and philosophize. Maybe you plan on writing a book about all the fresh and new ideas that surely nobody else has thought of. Especially stuff about love and relationships since any book on the subject will hit the top ten at some point in its existence. Nobody really understands the stuff. They all just like having others who pretend to understand it tell them in vague terms and sentimental stories what they're doing wrong. The first book will be called Men are from Mars, Women are...no wait...that's been done. Well, at least the book has an original idea. You see, up until a certain age, girls date a certain type of guy. The kind of guy they know they will never end up with. Either this guy is completely afraid of commitment, so he will never settle down, or he is just the completely wrong type. And guys, up until a certain age, date a certain type of girl. The kind they know they will never end up with. Either this girl is the kind the guy could never get completely attached to, or she is the kind who will basically hand him reasons to break up with her. This is sure to make millions.

But until those millions are made and you can spend your days (and nights) drinking bloody marys with vodka, you'll have to put all your energy into trying to look presentable even though you know you are not.