You know you have reached the pinnacle of your summer fun when you find yourself partaking in the activities that have consumed the last couple days of my life. I swear, take away my ability to do normal activities and my brain just turns into this comatose mush that finds hours of amusement in the simplest of things. Kind of like when you were a kid and you could just jump on the bed for hours on end and not be bored. Or when you would take a magnifying glass and follow little bugs around the backyard and fry them with the intensified rays of the sun. Oh wait...I still do that. But anyway. Here are some of the things I have been doing lately:

-Playing with fire. Fire is always a great entertainer. Especially when you have thousands of matches (literally). My brother's restaurant has unknowingly supplied me with about 70 boxes of matches. Each box containing a little over 30 matches. So what do I do? I tape a line of about a hundred matches together, set them straight up, light the first one and watch gleefully.

-Watching educational shows on TV. I think those people who decide what is going on TV have joined a conspiracy against all the lazy kids of America. There is nothing on TV. I really hate TV for the most part. There are just a couple shows that I really enjoy. But when you can't find anything else to do, watching educational shows is very entertaining. Today I watched a soap opera worthy show about monkeys. It was this huge rival between a warlord male monkey and a gang of vagabond ruffian monkeys. The warlord had his women who he used to make lots of little monkeys, but no older males were in the group. The "lost boys" as the show deemed them (aren't they just so creative) attacked this colony and chased the alpha male out of the city. He was considered banished and left on his own to live in the wild and die. The leader of the ruffian monkeys let his boys have a few hours with all the lady monkeys, but then he wanted to reign and not have to fight with the other males. So he chased them out too. Then he killed off all the baby monkeys because the females wouldn't mate with him if they still had a baby. I'm telling you, it had these gripping shots of the females holding dead baby monkeys in their arms. It was really sad. Or maybe the boredom has affected my emotions.

-Trying to figure out ways out of jury work. Yeah, I was supposed to go a while back, but I told them I was a full time student and therefore couldn't be a voice for the people. Sure it was partly a lie since I am not in classes all summer, but it's still partly true, since I am a full time student. The problem is this: the time they have given me to make up for my lack of juryness last time is truthfully in the way of school. It overlaps with my first week of classes. So here are my proposed plans:

**Show up with dark body paint on and when they call my name I will say, "OH...Grant Paige? There must have been a typo...I'm Brant Paige. See look, that thing says I'm white. Do I look white to you?"

**Show extreme racial prejudice. They won't keep prejudice people on the jury. Even if the guy convicted is white. I'll walk in and start screaming: "You honkey! Come on white bread, you gonna convince me that your white butt don't belong in jail?"

**Wear inappropriate attire. They won't let you in the courtroom if you aren't wearing the right clothing. I figure I'll wear a loincloth. I'll tell them I'm part Indian and they can't stop me from wearing the official garb of my people. Or maybe I'll wear one of those toxic waste suits with an oxygen tank strapped to my back. Either way, I figure they won't want me on their jury.