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New Survey Shows Caffeine Is Good For The Eyes!

I have this teacher who requires- not suggests- that we give him a standing ovation every single time he enters the classroom. He walks in, smoke billowing around him, a single spotlight encircling him, music blaring, and his hands raised...soaking in the applause that his students are forced to feed him.

The other day I was trying to make espresso (that's eSpresso ok? not eXpresso. sigh...) and I tried to blow little crumbs of chunkily ground espresso bean from the cup into the sink. My blowing was obviously much more powerful than I expected because ground bean flew everywhere. My eye is part of everywhere. I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I could see a large granule of espresso bean just sitting there- chilling- in my eye. I was faced with a problem...I didn't know how to get it out. I needed to get it out- you see- because it didn't feel all that great. Through many tears I eventually scraped it out of my eye.

I have this teacher who is a complete dolt. I'm truthfully not too sure what exactly "dolt" means...but it sure is a cool word and I wanted to use it. This guy treats our class as if we were 5 years old and he is in charge of our day-care. You could be blissfully tuning him out, wait till he is done with a sentence, then shout out, "Really!?" in the most sarcastic voice you could muster...and it would be appropriate. The other day he was talking about a reading we had to do and had the gall to say, "If this were raw Plato- (meaning Plato that was not dumbed down for our dumb nation) - you would be lost." Yes...I DID join this class to have my intelligence questioned by you, Mr. Dolt.

I just finished MF...a confusingly well-written novel by Anthony Burgess (the author of Clockwork Orange among many other great novels) Basic plot? A man finds that he was born due to an incestuous affair. He later finds he has a twin born from the same affair, though this twin makes him ashamed to look as he does, because he could be confused with his low-class double. He then kills his brother, gets married to his sister, nearly has sex with her (or does...I'm not really sure due to the language of the book), finds out his family has a history of incest, and that's pretty much where it ends. But that's almost nothing to the book I just started- Stiff- a book about how cadavers have been used by science throughout history to gain insight into what the human body can withstand. And it's funny.

I was cleaning my room the other day when I found two empty packages of some medication on top of a high shelf. I did a little research into the pills (which are marked in Spanish) and found that the former tenant of my room was a speed freak. Maybe that's going too far. He was using diet pills that are supposed to give you more energy, help you build more muscle, and help you lose weight...all by raising your body's caloric temperature by a few degrees. This is bad because then the glands in your body that regulate caloric control shut down momentarily because hey...something else is doing it's job for it! And it's easy to get these in Mexico, since most athletes don't really NEED the drugs.

Has anyone else noticed the complete lack of connection between my stories?